


The Robron Break Ups: A Definitive Guide

by bartsugsy



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Essays, M/M, this is not fic, when will the meta stop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2018-10-24 01:55:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 33,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10731738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bartsugsy/pseuds/bartsugsy
Summary: Do you ever start something you wish you hadn't? Well, then you have something in common with both Katie Sugden and myself, because here, my friends, here is my magnum opus: the definitive guide to the dark times.Originally intended to be a simple list on tumblr, but has managed to spiral into an unintelligible word dump of feelings thinly veiling the fact that is just an overly verbose recap of the entire storyline and really, you should all just do a rewatch instead.





	1. Parts One and Two: Pre-Manslaughter

**Foreword**

Do you ever start something you wish you hadn't? Well, then you have something in common with both Katie Sugden and myself, because here, my friends, here is my magnum opus: the definitive guide to the dark times.

I, anguished, alone and with clearly no better way to spend my time, have gone back to the start of this mess of a fictional relationship we refer to as robron and counted every single break up, every single dismissal, every single time one of these boys were cruelly (or rightfully lbr) #denied by the other.  
  
Yeah.  
  
That's right.  
  
This is going to be the longest series of posts you've ever seen.

A large amount of the blame here lies with [@stolemyhheart](https://tmblr.co/mKt8aukgrXlwV_SybvGWvig), firstly for suggesting I do this in the first place (probably not seriously, but I clearly hate myself) and for providing the genius rating system I use throughout. The rest of the blame lies with Robert, Aaron and the writers for everything they have put us through in the last 2 years.

“But Lo,” I hear you yell, “this is depressing af, what about the happy times?” WELL YOU KNOW WHAT I WISH I HAD WRITTEN ABOUT THE HAPPY TIMES BECAUSE IT WOULD HAVE ENDED IN A LOT SMALLER A WORD COUNT. But let's be honest… deep down, we all want to know just how many times it's been now that they've broken up/rejected one another…. right?

Following on from this, here is the answer to a sure to be heavily asked question: _Why am I counting rejections etc. as break ups?_

Honestly? It's the only way to save my sanity. I can't express how hard it would be to work out what is and is not a break up otherwise. The gdoc title of this list is actually _The Robron Rejection Compendium_ , which is far more accurate. It’s just… _It's the only way_. You’ll see what I mean as we get into it.

But hey, you probably know. You've all seen it.  
  
**The Rating System**

For each break up, I give the following information, so that you can all see just how terrible these boys are at staying away from one another:

  * How long did it last?


  * Who came crawling back first?


  * How little did they mean it? (Score out of a possible 5, with 5 being 'they meant it as much as any two people can mean a break up and still end up back together' and 1 being 'get out of my life but also let's go to a theme park together tomorrow')



Anyway, onwards we go - starting at the beginning. Pre-affair days, because I was already here and why not, honestly?

Follow me as I list out every time robron broke up (or said they didn't want to be with each other), and narrate you through it, like Jimmy Carr in one of those random Christmas TV filler list countdown specials.

 

 

* * *

 

## Part One : Pre-Manslaughter

**1\. 24 November 2014**

 

Ah, the first rejection. An iconic one - mostly because of all the wall-slamming. Do you miss the wall-slamming? I miss the wall-slamming.

For context - Aaron and Robert have a little Woolpack Bathroom Confrontation™ over Chrissie’s ring, which was stolen in their little Fake Robbery Escapade™ and then Aaron actually finds and retrieves Chrissie's ring from Ross, because Aaron is a good and decent soul. Robert smiles in response and looks at him in a slightly different, 'you could be worth more to me than I initially thought' way. Which is nice, because 2014!Robert seemed to always immediately assume all people were worthless morons not worthy of his time. Because 2014!Robert is a grade-A butthole. (I love him though. I love him.)

Anyway, Robert decides to reward Aaron by tracking him down and offering him cash, so really in this scene, Aaron is actually rejecting Robert's money as opposed to his dick, but it's still a rejection and honestly, as previously mentioned, if I don't get really liberal with the definition, I won't make it out of this alive. Also, please, as if they didn't both go home and think about being pressed up against that wall together all night. I bet Aaron was really annoyed about it too. You just know he hated how attracted he was to Robert's smug face.  
  
**How long did it last?** A day? No time at all, honestly.  

 **Who came crawling back first?** Robert, absolutely not taking Aaron’s ‘stay out of my way’ warnings to heart and instead deciding to confront him in the pub over Aaron’s ~obvious feelings for Chrissie~. Ok, Robert.

 **How little did they mean it?** 5/5, because Aaron really didn't want Rob’s money. (Did want his dick tho, he just didn't quite realise that that would be on offer)

 

**2\. 2nd December 2014**

 

Second on our list, it's the ‘Chrissie wants to buy Rob a car’ moment. Rob is all panicky and on-edge at the idea of Aaron talking to Chrissie (because he doesn't want Aaron spilling about the fake robbery and Aaron looks about as mild and easy to control as a live wire).

Chrissie leaves and Aaron yells at Robert about putting the woman he's about to marry through a shitty time and Robert… doesn't really care too much, to be honest. Aaron doesn't want to deal with him anymore and walks away. Robert gets this look on his face. Is it guilt? Maybe? He's really hard to read at this point, ok, he's like a moral black hole, but Aaron’s words have had some sort of effect, nonetheless.

 **How long did it last?** Minutes? As long as it took Bob to make two americanos? The next time we see them, Aaron’s slamming a car boot down and still visibly agitated and Rob’s got the aforementioned coffees in and is trying to make nice

 **Who came crawling back first?** Robert, with his coffee and his smiles and his apologies. Does he genuinely mean it? Is he just trying to keep Aaron on side so that he can potentially keep him quiet longer? Probably a mixture of both, let's be real. But Rob’s smile is cute and Aaron's smile in response is just as sweet and GUYS THEY'RE ALREADY IN LOVE IT'S HAPPENED THEY'RE BONDING OVER COFFEE AND CARS (and Chrissie?)

 **How little did they mean it?** 2/5. Aaron genuinely did think Robert was being a terrible person, but also, it literally lasted minutes and all Rob had to do was buy a cup of coffee and turn on the charm to make things better… and oh boy, is Aaron a sucker for that charm.

**Honourable Mention #1: 3rd December 2014**

The first honourable mention appears here, while Robert is having a Sugden family meal that's going just as well as you would expect a Sugden family meal to go and Diane invites Aaron to join in on the fun. Robert isn't about this idea at all, apparently and says so and then the two of them make subtexty sexual tension eyes at each other across the room. Robert runs away immediately, probably because he doesn't want the rest of his family to know he's in a constant state of ‘5 seconds away from ripping Aaron’s clothes off with his teeth’.

**3\. 3rd December 2014**

 

Next up, we have what I like to call The First Date Rejection. Aaron came out to Robert, Rob got this Curious Look™ on his face and watched Aaron walk away. They made googly eyes at one another in front of Robert’s entire family and Aaron now finds Rob sitting in his car and for reasons that I can only assume relate to the wall-slamming incident and all the heated looks they've been sharing every time they're within touching distance of one another, Aaron basically asks Robert out on a date. It's not really intended to be a romantic date but... they both know they'd getting lucky at the end of it. Aaron’s trying to play it cool and kind of failing. Most inconvenient crush ever, am I right? Anyway, Robert blind panics again and immediately turns Aaron down, sounding insulted at Aaron’s entirely accurate reading of the situation. Aaron gets annoyed because honestly, why did he expect more from Robert in the first place? It all plays out in subtext and it's amazing, but also everyone is sad and no one is getting laid.

 **How long did it last?** A day. An entire day.

 **Who came crawling back first?** Robert again, fresh with the knowledge that Aaron would absolutely be up for it, desperately wanting to do something about it himself and also looking to get some payback on Chrissie for doubting his fidelity. Yeah... you... you show her Robert... how... how dare she believe that you couldn't be faithful to her… you! Of all… of all the people...

 **How little did they mean it?** 2/5, because Robert is still scared of himself (and probably doesn't want to play away so close to home, more on that later) but also, you just know that he really wishes he could go flirt with Aaron over drinks and away from prying eyes and not care - as seen by his troubled face in the very last shot of the scene. Poor, deeply closeted Robert. Aaron is absolutely on to you, my son.

**4\. 4th December 2014 - The First Kiss (Rejections)**

 

Ah. Ah the lay by. Iconic location of an iconic first kiss. Now since I'm obviously here to talk less about the romantic stuff, and more about the heartache, heart break and general You’re Dead To Me’s, I'm going to skip the mush and hop straight to the good stuff. Robert, having made the decision to throw caution to the wind in an impulsive angry reaction to Chrissie’s doubts, does the following: fakes a breakdown (or not even - just turning the engine off, what kind of terrible cover), gets Aaron's number from Vic and lures Aaron out to the side of a road under false pretenses.

Aaron gets there, pretty quickly realises what's up and he is All. About. It.  
Then, of course, Robert panics and chickens out, but Aaron has long had him sussed, chases after him and that's about as far as Rob’s defences will hold when it comes to Aaron.

They have an epic, epic first kiss that turns into an epic, epic make out session. All that sexual tension that's been building expressed in one moment - enough that Aaron basically starts shoving Robert into his low loader and pulling off his shirt, because they've both had Enough™ of the whole sensible restraint thing.

Naturally, this is when Robert freaks out again and pulls away. Aaron follows, they almost go at it again on the hood of Robert’s car and then finally, Rob comes to his senses and drives away.

(I lied earlier. I really didn't skip the mush at all. They love each other and they want to bang. That's all.)

 **How long did it last?** The first pull away lasted a whole whopping second. The second one? Just long enough for Robert to bone Chrissie, realise he still wasn't satisfied because he wanted Aaron and then hang around the garage like a creeper for a bit. So about 2 hours.

 **Who came crawling back first?** True to form once more, it's Robert, looking to scratch a particularly cute and scruffy itch that his fiancé just couldn't help with.

 **How little did they mean it?** 1/5, Rob’s panicking again, still woefully in the closet and… probably coming to his senses a little, realising that this wouldn't end well? Aaron’s too close to home, already has too much to hold over Robert without this too, and… it's just not a good idea, is it?

But really, as we know, all of Robert’s defences are absolutely useless against Aaron, so… onto garage sex (or blowjobs anyway, I'm still saying blowjobs) in some rando’s car. Beautiful.

 

**5\. 5th December 2014**

 

So, they've banged in a car (and then Robert went back and banged Chrissie again, because apparently he's literally the horniest person alive) and now we skip to the next day, where Aaron has managed to find a car for Robert, per Chrissie’s request.

At home farm, Chrissie wants to have a little private chat with Aaron about payment and Robert, panicking once more over his terrible decisions, pulls Aaron to the side and offers him hush money. Again. Because he apparently did not learn the first time.

Aaron, as expected, does not take this well.

 **How long did it last?** About 3 days.

 **Who came crawling back first?** Aaron? If you count taking Finn out to make Robert jealous, having the plan backfire entirely and make Robert more smug and then going out and absolutely battering Rob’s new car as “crawling back”. Either way, there's more wall-slamming and they end up having angry sex in Aaron’s room, so it's a win all round. Except for Rob’s car. And Chrissie, I guess.

 **How little did they mean it?** 4/5. Enough that they ended up having angry sex a few days later, anyway. That counts as ‘meaning it’ in the robron book of arguments.

 

 

**Honourable Mention #2: 9th December 2014**

The next honourable mention isn’t even slightly a break up - the opposite of one, actually, but this is my post and I’ll do as I please. This scene features Rob, strolling into the Woolie back room like he owns the place and confronting Aaron about the money Aaron is charging Chrissie for Robert’s car (mostly because he’s panicking about the fact that he’s somehow managed to start up an entire bloody affair with Aaron in the space of four days). The boys spend the whole scene arguing and Aaron is doing his absolute level best to wind Robert up and it’s _working_ , but they’re also literally talking about how they’re absolutely without a doubt going to keep hooking up? This scene is just really underrated, basically, so I’m just casually dropping it in here. 

Besides, it would absolutely sound like it would qualify, given how dismissive and rude they are to one another, if not for the fact that, I repeat, this whole snippy, agressive conversation exists for them to talk about the fact that they’ve just had some pretty spectacular angry sex and agree that it’s definitely going to happen again.

 

**6\. 15th December 2014**

 

At number 6, we have Robert and Aaron, hanging around awkwardly in Bar West. Robert is upset about Andy melting Jack’s wedding ring - and also, it turns out, deeply uncomfortable about being in a gay bar. Aaron is unsympathetic, Robert is generally horrible and they argue - it gets vicious, and it feels like a big bright sign warning of the horrors to come. It all ends when Robert tells Aaron to ~have fun with his friends~ and flounces off. Rob goes home and makes some more terrible decisions about Katie and Andy’s rings. Exactly no one is surprised.

 **How long did it last?** I mean, they don’t share a proper scene for two whole days but let’s be honest, they were probably already thinking about boning again by that evening.

 **Who came crawling back first?** Robert tracks down Ross and Aaron two days later to warn them about Chrissie calling the police and Robert touches Aaron’s chest and Aaron looks down at Robert’s hand and my heart goes all googly and squiggly and this is basically what boy sex is, isn’t it? idk I am just a poor lesbian

 **How little did they mean it?** 3/5. Both angry, but have no intention of stopping, because hate sex is fun and early robron are all about the hate sex. (Or at least highly annoyed at one another sex)

 

**7\. 23rd December 2014**

 

Aaron’s been hiding out in Brighton for a few days. He rocks back up into the village and he and Adam jump right into planning a new business over a pint. Robert (eavesdropping, because he literally wants to be up in Aaron’s business at all times 24/7 by this point) helpfully decides to invest, because what’s a spare 10k between illicit lovers? Aaron goes up to the bar to order another drink and Robert tries to charm Aaron into also buying him one, in his overdone, smarmy way, before immediately taking it all back and offering to buy Aaron a pint instead. Robert uses his soft, intimate, ‘Aaron’ voice and it’s just great. Aaron does not think it’s quite as charming as I apparently do and tells Robert that he doesn’t want anything from him. Again. You’ll hear that phrase a lot as we journey through this relationship together, dear reader. A lot. It’s always a lie.

 **How long did it last?** Two days. This was a big one. Hoo boy. Two entire days.

 **Who came crawling back first?** Robert basically disregards what Aaron says immediately because two seconds later, he’s talking to Adam about investing in their as-yet-to-be-decided business. Adam mentions this to Aaron, who seems very wary and just generally Not About It. Two days later (Christmas Day, time for giving, time for family, etc.), Aaron has another pop at Robert, after listening to Vic cry over Rob’s fight with Andy the night before. Something Aaron says clearly strikes a chord with Robert, because he goes back to his family and apologises, talks candidly about his feelings and about Jack. Robert says “you had [Jack] more than I did in the end” to Andy and I CRY LIKE THE SAD AND EMOTIONAL HUMAN I AM, because I have Robert Sugden feelings and also because millie keeps posting jack/robert headcanons and they’ve all ruined me.

Aaron is, handily, on hand (…I’m leaving that phrase in, leave me alone) to overhear Robert acting like a good and well-intentioned human being for the first time in… a while, probably. Of course, Robert’s terrible past decisions come back to bite him anyway and everything gets screwed up with Andy. Again.

Aaron, however, has already been won over by the fact that Rob didn’t just listen to him, but actually followed through and made an effort with his family. Aaron’s is all happy and impressed and they have THAT CONVERSATION IN THE SUITS WITH THE SWAYING AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL AND THEN THEY RUN OFF TO THE PUB TO MAKE SWEET SWEET LOVE and then get immediately interrupted by Katie because god hates joy, but not before having an A+ kiss.

Anyway, at some point during this day, Aaron accidentally goes from hating Robert to falling hopelessly in love with Robert and that’s pretty much it for Aaron. He just.. he falls in love with Robert and never looks back.

Robert also starts to fall in love with Aaron probably (but I’m not quite sure he realises, or recognises it, and if he does he is very afraid of it, because, again, he’s still deeply closeted. He’s still set on marrying Chrissie and living out all his rich and powerful fantasies). Rob is still very difficult to read, so we may never know for sure.

Anyway, there are probably mutual feelings involved, because they keep smiling at one another and it’s lovely and I’m crying softly just watching it. Just look at their love. Their beautiful, non-murdery love. Ah, some things never last.

 **How little did they mean it?** 4/5. Aaron meant this break up. Robert found himself so eager to get back into Aaron’s good books that he started throwing money at him again (still hasn’t learnt) and then, in a beautiful turn of events, decided to instead to actually listen to him and lo, we are treated to the first instance of Aaron helping Robert better himself and I get emotional all over again because HE’S A REAL BOY NOW.

**Honourable Mention #3: 1st January 2015**

Aaron and Robert start hooking up in their barn and Rob invests his spare 10k purely as an excuse to see Aaron’s face on the reg. They have little flirty meetings in the coffee shop and all in all, it’s a nice little break from the drama. No arguments, no break ups. Just barn sex and lying to everyone. It’s wonderful.

Of course, this happiness does not last very long, because it’s a soap. Real life interupts and Robert is forced to stand Aaron up on New Year’s Eve (and ends up half moping around all evening because he knows he could be off at the pub getting laid, instead of schmoozing rich people) (can you believe Robert would rather be with Aaron than rich people? It’s love) and Aaron, who absolutely hates to seem soft and needy, but can be _so_ soft and _so_ needy sometimes (and I mean this in the gentlest way), especially when it comes to Robert, is sort of pissed. 

When Robert tries to cancel another plan, Aaron basically tells him that he either shows up at the barn for sex, or they’re done. Now, I don’t know how much I believe that threat personally, because I’ve written 4000 words so far on how much they suck at staying away from one another, but Robert seems to believe it, and, without even pausing to think things through, makes the decision to meet up with his secret boyfriend rather than babysit with his soon-to-be-Step Son, Lachlan.

Anyway, Aaron and Robert meet up, argue, have sex and it’s just generally A+++++

What do you mean this doesn’t count as a break up? Pfft you write it.

(…ok fine it’s not a break-up, but they do talk about ending things after Robert gets married, so it counts. Not to be spoilery, but that works out about as well as we’ve all probably come to expect from these two. Not even murder can keep them apart.)

Oh and stuff happens with Lachlan blah blah

 

**8\. 1st January 2015**

 

Lachlan’s in hospital and Robert is in some _deep shit_ with Chrissie and Lawrence - mostly because he’s nowhere to be seen. On the other side of the village, Aaron and Robert are finishing up their literal tumble in the hay when Aaron casually asks Rob out for a pint. Robert chooses this exact moment to check his messages, sees what has happened and runs off to the hospital in a panic without even stopping to give Aaron an explanation.

While Rob is at the hospital being yelled at, Aaron goes to the pub by himself to mope. Rob shows up (having been kicked out of the hospital by Chrissie) and gets yelled at again, this time by Zak, who is worried about Belle. As Zak yells and Robert tries to defend the fact that he was too busy boning his secret boyfriend to babysit, Aaron quickly realises what exactly has happened. He and Robert meet in their favorite spot, the Woolie loos and Aaron tries to offer a sympathetic ear. Rob unfortunately has had just about enough and takes his frustrations and panic out on Aaron. They start to argue and Robert says that “whatever this is between us” (it’s love) is over. Surprising to zero people at this point, this turns out to not be true.

 **How long did it last?** This is a pretty long one, as it happens. It lasts about a week. AN ENTIRE WEEK.

 **Who came crawling back first?** It’s Robert, of course it’s Robert. The very next day, he goes to the pub and tries to get Aaron alone to talk about ~his investment~. It’s as if the words “we’re over” have literally no value when they’re coming out of Robert’s mouth and directed at Aaron, or something. Ah Robert, the world’s biggest drama queen. 

Aaron really isn’t having it, however. In fact, after Lachlan and Belle almost become the first (but absolutely not the last) casualty of Aaron and Robert’s affair, Aaron remembers that Robert Sugden’s numero uno priority is still Robert Sugden (don’t worry kids, that will change). Anyway, Aaron is getting freaked out - but then, it’s been a month since they’ve kissed and they’ve already started an entire actual Honest To God Affair, managed to break up 8 times and now they’ve almost killed a child. So. No bloody wonder.

(There is a small moment on the 2nd January between Aaron and Chas, as they talk about her unease at Robert’s suspiciously big investment - because of course, Chas doesn’t yet realise that Rob is actually basically investing that money in his Little Rob. Chas mentions to Aaron that Robert seems committed to investing in the business, like he’s Aarons “guardian angel” or something. Aaron gets this little interested look on his face and I have sudden and visceral flashforwards to the multiple times Robert will actually and actively save Aaron’s life in the next few years, and I cry.)

Anyway, Robert goes to find Aaron at work a few days later and tells him that Lachlan’s going to be ok. Rob looks all happy and keen to get it back on, but instead, he gets another earful from Aaron, who quite rightly assumes that Robert cares more about protecting his own secrets than he does Lachlan’s life.

Robert then decides to send the infamous “kiss and make up” text that ends up basically killing Katie. Imagine. Death by smarmy text. What a piss-take.

 **How little did they mean it?** 1/5. Robert came crawling back the very next day and Aaron literally buckled after a stupid text. Like. From all appearances, they basically did kiss and make-up. We don’t even _see_ them make up, they just share a Look as they walk past each other in the pub (but boy howdy, is it ever a good Look) and in that instant, we can all tell that they clearly just jumped straight back into it. Words have lost nearly all meaning at this point. They just like the drama.

**9\. 7th January 2015**

 

Katie’s been gossiping about the “kiss and make up” text and Aaron drags Robert in to the Woolie back room to warn him. Robert, as is his wont, panics and sort of… calls the whole thing off… for now. Maybe Robert has finally learnt that there’s no point in trying to stop their relationship completely?

Either way, Aaron’s not happy about this sudden stop to their sexy times and as Rob walks out the door, he gets that sad/angry look on his face and I sort of just want to hug him because son, you are in way too deep considering how tragically closeted and technically unavailable Robert is.

On the other hand, hindsight is beautiful thing and it’s all going to work out mostly fine for most people in the end. Sort of. Apart from all the deaths. Oh well, it’s 2017 now, who cares. You keep being helplessly in love Aaron. I’m into it.

 **How long did it last?** This ‘ _we’re strangers, we’re not meeting up and we’re absolutely not boning_ ’ thing lasts exactly two days. Barely that, to be honest, because despite what Robert says, he still ends up having a conversation with Aaron about their affair in plain daylight, in public, the very next day. But hey. Whatever.

 **Who came crawling back first?** Aaron tries to talk Robert round the next day and inadvertently gives Robert the idea for an Evil Plan, which Robert quickly puts into play so that they can get back to “business as usual” (as they agree while standing in the bathroom, while I cry over their sizzlin’ chemistry) (how can two people have that much sexual chemistry while standing in front of a toilet?)

 **How little did they mean it?** 3/5. I mean, Robert meant it, but he also did everything he could to make sure that it would only last as long as he could go without (i.e. two days)

**Honourable Mention #4: 12th January 2015**

Aaron and Robert are back at it - or they would be, if not for the fact that Cain is basically dying and so Aaron’s all sad and distracted. Rob, in an effort to cheer Aaron up (because he cares and he has human feelings and he wants Aaron to be less sad and he _cares_ ), makes Aaron a cup of tea and calms his nerves and then, when that doesn’t work, grabs him and hugs him. Aaron’s confused and overwhelmed face is an exact mirror of my own every time I watch this beautiful scene. Is this really our panto villain Robert Sugden?

….this is obviously an honourable mention because before this scene, Rob tries to get Aaron to come up to the barn for a quickie and Aaron turns him down. So. Totally counts.

**Honourable Mention #5: 13th January 2015**

Aaron tries to back out of the business, because he’s panicking about letting Robert down and potentially losing him. Robert is all sweet and comforting and says to Aaron, and I quote, “Don’t get cold feet. You’ll make me think I fell for a quitter.” and Aaron looks so bloody astounded that I struggle to breathe. Then, if all of this wasn’t enough to send me to A&E, Robert smiles and says “Good meeting” and literally everyone has to take a moment to collect themselves because what. the. hell. is. this. SORRY IT’S BEEN OVER TWO YEARS AND I STILL CAN’T COPE WITH THIS SCENE. It’s just… it’s amazing. They’re gonna love each other forever.

..WHAT DO YOU MEAN STOP TALKING ABOUT THE CUTE SCENES YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT THE CUTE SCENES DID YOU THINK I JUST _WOULDN’T MENTION THIS SCENE_ WHO DO YOU THINK I AM YES THIS COUNTS BECAUSE AARON TRIED TO PULL OUT OF THE BUSINESS IT COUNTS leave me alone I’m just a human

 

**10\. 30th January 2015**

 

Aaron and Robert are just about as happy as two people can be whilst sneaking around behind everybody’s backs (hint: so happy, so loved-up, just utterly enjoying one another’s company, plus no one’s died yet… honestly, everything is hum diddly). Aaron and Adam have a new portacabin, which Robert comes to check out (oh wait, no, why would he check out a portacabin when he could be checking out Aaron). Robert books a hotel room with a late check-out and then crawls around the bed in his underwear. It’s all just great.

Amidst this happiness, Aaron is intermittently reminded, however, that Robert is actually still very much with Chrissie, so we get to watch Aaron lurk moodily around the background feeling sad and jealous and honestly, suddenly the Aaron in more recent episodes starts to feel so much more familiar… Poor love.

Anyway, the boys are preoccupied with their own dramas for a bit (Aaron’s dealing with the scrapyard and Eric. Robert is dealing with the fact that apparently, in Emmerdale, watching porn is, in fact, the worst damn crime you can commit). They’re most likely meeting up for more barn sex while all this is going on, but hey. It’s not shown on screen. All we’ve got is our imaginations. Aaron pops up to tease Robert about the porn and they flirt in the coffee shop, Robert books another hotel and Aaron gets himself into a suit. It all ends in tears, though, as Katie and Chrissie arrive at the hotel, ruining Robert and Aaron’s hot night and thus, the calm before the real storm comes to a startling, abrupt end.

The next morning, Robert tracks Aaron down at the scrapyard to apologise. Aaron’s having none of it, knowing that Robert is getting married in a week and that they can’t carry on beyond that, but desperately wanting _so much more_ (…clearly these boys haven’t been paying attention if they honestly think they can stop, but… we’re not getting into that just yet, we’ve got months of this ahead of us…)

Robert looks sad, Aaron is pissed off, threatens Robert with a broken nose and says “do one”. Rob rightly takes this as a cue to not follow Aaron into the portacabin. This gets Robert angry, so he goes off to confront Katie (because she ruined his dirty night away with Aaron with all of her completely correct assumptions and now Aaron doesn’t want to talk to him).

 **How long did it last?** While Rob is busy distracting himself with a spot of casual arson, Aaron ends up sitting with Paddy, sad about Robert and beating himself up about letting himself get in _so deep_. He ends up sort of accidentally telling Paddy that he’s in love with Robert (well, he doesn’t use Rob’s name). Aaron, in this scene, essentially says that he’s incapable of just walking away from the affair, so it’s nice that at least one of them has some level of self-awareness. After a few days, Aaron comes to the decision that he’s going to let Robert stew.

Meaning this particular break up lasts more than 2 days.

In very loose terms, it lasts 5 days. 5 days of them playing games with each other, at the ultimate expense of Katie’s life and a bit of flooring. 

In more realistic terms, this is the end of their relationship as they know it - this is, in fact, the break up that starts off a series of dramatic, tragic and unapologetically soapy events that will define their entire relationship for the next year.

 **Who came crawling back first?** Robert drops in to see Aaron 3 days after their argument, but Aaron’s still having none of it. Rob leaves, sad and hurt and without a secret boyfriend. The next day, they bump into one another at the cafe and make some eyes at each other. Robert tells Aaron to meet him at their barn, which Aaron doesn’t do, so instead we get a shot of Robert sitting alone in their barn in the dark and looking Drama Queen levels of tragic.

Rob is… well, he’s onto Aaron and feeling kind of bitter about the whole thing, so when they meet up in the woolie bathroom later that day, Robert explains to Aaron that he’s had this Big Amazing Epiphany™ and that actually Aaron meant nothing to him and… nobody believes you tbh Rob, but you do you. As with all of Robert’s impulsive, emotional decisions, this has terrible consequences and pushes Aaron into deciding to blow the whole affair to Katie.

Literally the next day, Aaron asks them to start things up again (so that he can #Expose Robert to Katie) and Robert goes along with it pretty much immediately, ready to not just start things back up again, but also continue them after Robert is married. Because Robert has also long since realiseed that he’s not ready to let Aaron go and he’s done with the game playing. 

 **How little did they mean it?** 1/5. Yes, it lasted a while, but Aaron stayed away with the pure intention of somehow getting Robert to leave Chrissie, and Robert ended things to get back at Aaron for standing him up. And… ah. This emotional game playing does not work out for them. This absolutely does not work well for them.

…I mean, it does work, in the sense that they’re together now, in 2017, but… oh dear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Up: The Real Dark Ages


	2. Part Three: A Mess™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As we kick off with Part Three, we move out of the Pre-Manslaughter era and firmly into the… you know… the part where someone dies.... Warning: may involve a lot of yelling things in Robert Sugden’s general direction. Maybe there’s some name calling. It’s all done out of love.
> 
> But really, we’re getting to the juicy stuff now. I’m sure it will be great.
> 
> After all, you can’t spell ‘manslaughter’ without ‘laughter’.
> 
> I’ve made that joke so many times at this point, I’m sorry.
> 
> (I’m not)
> 
> Thank you, as always, for your incredibly kind words and likes and for reading these posts. This took… longer than expected. *cough*
> 
> Warning for discussions around outing queer characters, attempted suicide and self-harm. I’m mostly assuming you've all seen the storyline and know what to expect, but if you do need any specific things warned for, here or in future parts, please don’t hesitate to send me a message.
> 
> Anyway, without further ado, have 6,000 words of feelings...

 

**Previously On...**

It’s been… a while… so, if you’ll cast your mind back, we left off with Aaron trying to “treat [Robert] mean to keep him keen”, in the words of Paddy - and this plan utterly blowing up in his face, when Robert, who can’t handle the damage this does to his already fragile ego, vows to stop chasing Aaron and decides that they’re over. This prompts Aaron to do something stupid and impulsive in retaliation and he sets about a plan to out Robert and their affair to Katie. This… turns out to be somewhat of a mistake.

 

**11\. 5th February 2015**

It’s the morning of Robert’s wedding to Chrissie and Robert has spent the night in one of the Woolie’s 500 free rooms, because tradition. It’s bad luck to spend the night together before you get married, you know. Clearly this bid for good marital luck works wonders for Robert and Chrissie.

Aaron, having woken up determined to put his plan in motion, tracks down Robert and asks that they meet before Robert’s wedding. Robert pretends to not be interested and then literally seconds later basically says “ok let’s start banging again and never ever stop”, which prompts Aaron to have an immediate change of heart, because all of a sudden, the opportunity to _keep_ Robert has opened up. Again. We’re only 5 seconds in and my head is starting to hurt with how immediately they both make up and then change their minds again and honestly this is only going to get worse as the day goes on.

Aaron tracks down Katie to call off the plan, Robert goes back to the Woolie and puts a suit on and then they reconvene at Wiley’s. Robert walks in, ready for a quick pre-wedding bone, but Aaron’s been standing there stewing for a bit over his True Love for Robert and so immediately launches into a desperate and heartfelt plea to try and stop Robert from getting married. They say about 50 iconic lines to one another and it’s amazing and incredible and I cry. Robert spouts a couple of stark truths among a hundred more very big lies and Aaron is more honest than he’s ever been and it’s just… amazing. Robert also says the words “we’re over” again because at this point it’s his damn catchphrase. Aaron calls him out on it, says he doesn’t mean it and Robert gives him this Look that says that Aaron is very much not wrong there. We’re all shocked, I’m sure.

To prove this point, instead of just leaving (because it’s not like he has a wedding to get to or anything), Robert seemingly paces around Wiley’s for a bit, giving Aaron enough time to give into another impulse and send Katie a text, deciding once more to blow the affair.

**How long did it last?** Minutes? Seconds? However long it takes Aaron to send a quick text, really.

**Who came crawling back first?** Both of them? Although, technically Aaron, who, once he’s sent the text, goes and tracks down Robert in order to carry out his original plan to seduce him and let Katie catch them at it. He does this using a tried and tested method - he insults Robert, starts a heated conversation about where they both stand and then finally, just dives in for a kiss. Robert, predictably, despite what he had just said 5 seconds previously about them being ~over forever~, immediately kisses back.

**How little did they mean it?** 0/5. Are you kidding? It lasted seconds.

 

**12\. 5th February 2015**

So, there Aaron and Robert are, making out in a barn, when all of a sudden, Katie appears, fresh off her horse, taking photographic evidence like we know we all would if we could. Aaron tries to convince Robert that this is his perfect opportunity to come out and Robert… does not feel the same way… to put it lightly. Robert is about an hour away from marrying into a seemingly never-ending fortune and he’s not about to give all that up because of Katie. Aaron goes to leave and Robert tells Aaron not to tell anyone, but ultimately lets him go without much of a fight at all, which is interesting given what he does to Katie when _she_ tries to leave. This… is going to turn into something of a pattern.

So.

He kills her. It’s manslaughter, he doesn’t mean to (god knows what he actually meant to do wHY ARE YOU SUCH AN IMPULSIVE STUPID FOOL ROBERT SUGDEN WHY), but… he’s absolutely the one responsible for it. He has a great conversation with her about his sexuality, looks absolutely flipping WRECKED, panicked as hell, tries to convince her not to say anything by bargaining and pleading and threatening and when she doesn’t budge, it very quickly and drastically all escalates until he ultimately pushes her through some dodgy floorboards and she breaks her neck and she full on _dies_.

...Whoops?

**How long did it last?** About as long as it takes for Robert to kill Katie, break into her phone and delete the photo and then call Aaron in a panic. Then they sort of get somewhat distracted by all the manslaughter.

**Who came crawling back first?** Robert, because he needs to get married and he’s just killed someone and his first instinct is to call Aaron. His self preservation instincts kick in immediately and he conveniently leaves out some facts (and also flat out lies) when recounting what’s happened to Aaron (and essentially makes himself sound a hell of a lot more innocent than he actually is). Robert and Aaron talk, throughout which Robert manages to manipulate Aaron into feeling guilty (never exactly a difficult thing to do) and it’s horrible ok it’s HORRIBLE but Robert has decided the only way to keep the heat off himself is if Aaron gives him an alibi. Plus, Aaron is already keeping secrets for Robert. Robert can trust Aaron. Robert _does_ trust Aaron. Which is just. I HAVE A LOT OF CONFLICTING FEELINGS ABOUT ROBERT IMMEDIATELY CALLING AARON TO COME AND HELP HIM. DO I FEEL SOPPY ABOUT IT? DO I WANT TO WRANGLE ROBERT’S IDIOT NECK? IS IT A SOLID COMBO OF BOTH (both, it’s always a combo of both).

Anyway, eventually Aaron just tells Robert to go get married while he wipes away their fingerprints. Robert doesn’t want to leave him but eventually goes and high-tails it to the church.

**How little did they mean it?** WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING IS GOING WRONG WE’RE ON A CRASH COURSE FOR DISASTER AND EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED AND IT’S JUST HORRIBLE OK IT’S HORRIBLE (BUT 0/5 they’re a mess but they’re in love ja feel)

 

**Honourable Mention #6: 6th February 2015**

When Robert gets to the church, he looks like he’s barely holding it together. He waits for Chrissie and almost bursts into tears and he’s just… he’s a mess ok he’s killed Katie and now he’s a god damn mess.

They go ahead with things anyway and halfway through the ceremony, Aaron bursts in and it’s very dramatic and as Robert is standing there at the altar getting married to someone else, they share A Look. Robert does indeed get married and they continue to share Looks and the both of them have these expressions on their faces like the only person having a worse day is Katie and then to top it all off, Robert does some amazing awkward dancing like the fucking stupid nerd he is.

Honestly, their faces throughout the whole wedding reception are works of art ok I could watch an hour of them looking sad and shifty and staring at each other I’m just saying.

 

**Honourable Mention #7: 11th February 2015**

The boys get sort of distracted by all of the… post-manslaughter guilt and sadness…. thing. Andy’s living at Rob’s and Robert has taken it upon himself to be the Best Brother He Can Be, because his guilt will basically let him do nothing else. Aaron has started self-harming again - and, related, running. Chas is tearing herself apart, because she and Katie had argued the day before she died and Chas has, off of nothing, basically decided that Robert is absolutely involved. Somehow. Deserves her own murder mystery detective show, that one.

All this is simply to drive Aaron into dramatically revealing to Chas and Paddy that Robert didn’t kill Katie and that yep, he has indeed Tapped That. A lot. He gives Robert an alibi and Chas and Paddy pretty much immediately and singlehandedly start the Anti-Robron Movement.

The boys have a few shifty looking scenes together. Aaron has overheard that Katie told Chas about the whole _arson/death threats/acting like a panto villain_ thing Robert was doing for a while there and confronts Robert about it. Eventually, Robert comes clean and apologises to Aaron for not being straight (lololol) with him.

Robert is… basically at the end of his rope at this point and he pretty much just can’t stand the fact that, on top of everything else, Aaron is angry with him. He’s more honest with Aaron than he has been with anyone else up to this point (which YES OK THAT’S NOT SAYING MUCH I REALISE THAT BUT STILL BABY STEPS OK). Aaron is mad and Robert essentially tells Aaron to report him to the police because, as we see over and over again, despite everything, Robert would essentially let Aaron get away with anything, inflict any level of damage on him (I’m going to come back to this again and again just you wait), with little consequence.

In the end, Robert talks his way back into Aaron’s trust, says in a soft voice “I need you” and “Help me” and tries to kiss Aaron, who is having none of it (but he’s still not going to the police and he lbr absolutely doesn’t intend to end things with Robert).

 

**13\.  16th February 2015**

Chas and Paddy have a big confrontation with Robert, who vows to call off his affair with Aaron. Robert stays away from Aaron for a few days, while both boys are distracted by other things.

Adam and Aaron are arguing about the newly opened scrapyard and the fact that Aaron has suddenly mentally checked out of everything. (Aaron is sad and guilty and running. A lot.) While this is going on, Robert is being busy continuing his already lost campaign for Best Brother of The Year, by trying to support Andy and help make plans for Katie’s funeral.

Aaron eventually calls Robert because he’s sad and just wants to see him, because he’s a sweet little pineapple. Robert comes to visit him at the scrapyard and explains the talk he’s had with Chas and Paddy and once again (YES ONCE AGAIN WHAT A SHOCK A TRUE SHOCK) says that they’re over, they have to be over, or Chas and Paddy will tell Chrissie. Aaron immediately tells Robert that he can’t handle the guilt over Katie on his own and that he knows Robert can’t either - they need each other. Robert agrees, literally without hesitation (LITERALLY HE COULD NOT AGREE FASTER), but says that they still need to cool things for a while, so that Chas and Paddy don’t suspect.

**How long did it last?** I mean… did it even start???

**Who came crawling back first?** They sort of just avoid each other for a bit, distracted by other things, so it’s difficult to say. If history has taught us anything, it was probably Robert.

**How little did they mean it?** 0/5. They’re openly saying it’s not going to stick, Robert just wants to cool down for long enough that Chas and Paddy think it’s over.

 

**Honourable Mention #8: 19th February 2015**

Robert is trying to desperately help Andy - a silent act and guilt-ridden act of penance and honestly, it’s eating him up inside, he’s pretty much over-full with emotions, bursting at his seams. Diane notices ( _D I A N E notices something about ROBERT. God damn it musr be obvious_ ) and talks to him and it’s wonderful and so sad and he LOOKS sad and ah, Real Boy Robert, what a sadfaced little muppet.

Andy and Aaron, much like Robert, are both trying to act like everything is fine. Aaron is still running too much and pushing himself too hard, Robert is giving himself angry looks in the mirror and Andy is just trying to quietly check out from everything.

On the day of Katie’s funeral, Aaron tries to get out of going, knowing that the guilt will make it unbearable. Chas finds out and flips out at him, which leads Aaron to confront Robert, demanding that they both tell Andy that they were at Wiley’s on the day of Katie’s death. Robert obviously doesn’t want to do this, but doesn’t do a hell of a lot to stop Aaron, beyond trying to call him and then touching his chest in anger (WHICH IS JUST GREAT I LOVE THE CHEST TOUCHING ALL THE CHEST TOUCHING).

Anyway, the actual funeral happens and it’s heartbreaking and Aaron basically falls to pieces and has to run out mid-service.

Later at the wake, Robert and Aaron step outside and Robert does his best to talk a crumbling Aaron into keeping quiet and as always their scenes are SO GOOD WHY ARE THEY SO GOOD TOGETHER WHY ARE THEIR SCENES SO GOD DAMN ELECTRIC JUST GO WATCH IT WATCH THE WAY THEY SIZE UP TO ONE ANOTHER AND BAT WORDS BACK AND FORTH WITH ALL THESE DAMN FEELINGS BUBBLING UNDER THE SURFACE GOD DAMN IT THEY’RE PERFECT.

Aaron ultimately offers to take the blame for the entire thing, but Robert, also quietly in bits over everything, goes into an angry tirade about Aaron’s tendency to take the blame for things. Before things can escalate, the boys get distracted by Andy tearing off in his car down the street. They run to Andy’s place, find the suicide notes he has left and immediately follow him - to the quarry, where Andy is stopped at the edge, getting ready to drive over.

Rob jumps into Andy’s car and Aaron stands in front of the car, all three of them looking utterly wrecked. Robert refuses to get out of the car, says “if you’re doing this, we’re doing it together”, looks at Aaron and Andy and I CRY A THOUSAND TEARS OVER TWO OF ROBERT’S MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIPS IN THE ENTIRE DAMN WORLD. Robert continues trying to convince Andy to not doing anything, while Aaron, at this point completely distraught, shuffles over to the edge and stares out.

In one split second, Robert notices that Aaron has disappeared and Andy gets out of the car and runs towards the edge and OH MY GOD THIS SCENE IS JUST SOUL DESTROYING AND HEARTBREAKING, AARON AND ANDY BOTH IN UTTER DESPAIR AND ROBERT DESPERATELY TRYING TO GET ALL OF THEM OUT ALIVE hahaha THIS ISN’T EVEN SLIGHTLY A BREAK UP, IS IT? I JUST WANTED TO YELL ABOUT ROBERT SAVING ANDY AND ABOUT THE ABSOLUTE NOSE DIVE TO ROCK BOTTOM THAT AARON’S STATE OF MIND TAKES AND IT’S IMPORTANT OK THIS WHOLE EPISODE IS IMPORTANT LEAVE ME ALONE.

 

**14\. 23rd February 2015**

Aaron, still feeling lost and distraught and, now, angry, texts Robert, who comes to see him in the Woolpack back room. Aaron’s determined to stop causing his mum grief and the best solution he can find to that is to stay away from Robert, and so Aaron essentially immediately tells him that they’re over, that having Robert hanging around is only making things worse. Robert asks what putting the brakes on is going to change - and that he saw Aaron, standing there at the edge of the quarry, staring. He probes at Aaron, tries to get him to talk, but Aaron stands firm and they ultimately part ways, both looking sad af.

**How long did it last?** All in all, just over a month. A month and 3 days, to be exact, as they start things up again on 26th March 2015. Of course, the reconciliation _attempts_ start a lot sooner than that, because of course they bloody do. We see them again a few weeks after this particular break up, having spent a good bit of time off screen. Robert has literally been out of town, for horrible Lachlan-related reasons, which conveniently means that there’s been no chance for things to start back up again with them. Both Aaron and Robert have conversations with Chas about how it’s very much O-V-E-R. They both lie hilariously (LET’S TALK ABOUT ROBERT SAYING THAT AARON ~ISN’T THAT IRRESISTIBLE~ SHALL WE????? U WANNA GO ROB????? I HAVE FUCKING _RECEIPTS_ YOU DONUT LITERAL ACTUAL 9000 WORDS AND COUNTING OF RECEIPTS. YOU LITERALLY WOULDN’T KNOW HOW TO RESIST AARON IF HE LOCKED HIMSELF IN A HIGH SECURITY VAULT AND SPRAYED HIMSELF IN ANTI-ROBERT SPRAY you bloody absolute delusional spanNER).

Anyway, Chas makes a crucial mistake and mentions to Robert that Aaron is still suffering, that he’ll “do himself damage the way he’s going”, which immediately concerns Robert, because as much as Robert’s just been going about his regular, Chrissie-loving days, it turns out you can’t actually just _smirk_ away feelings. Chas, of course, has also underestimated the feelings Robert has for Aaron. Next thing we see, Rob is staring at his phone, thumb hovering over Aaron’s name, debating whether to contact him. Oh Chas, I’m pretty sure this one’s all your fault, babe.

I mean. It would have happened eventually. But Chas definitely expedited it slightly.

**Who came crawling back first?** Hold onto your seats kids… shock of the century, it’s Robert flamin’ Sugden. Of course.

Aaron is running until his feet bleed. Literally. At pretty much all hours of the day. And then he runs some more - enough that literally everyone notices. Chas and Paddy assume Aaron’s new found obsessive dedication to running is because he’s hung up about Robert. Robert, of course, is the only one who knows what’s really driving Aaron’s state of mind and sends him lots of worried looks (and then immediately pretends to Paddy that he _doesn’t care la de da_ ). Robert hangs around outside the Woolpack at night and catches Aaron running home, pushing himself too hard and confronts him. Aaron basically tells him to get lost. Robert decides to try a different tact entirely and donates £2,000 to Aaron’s half marathon fundraiser and then marches into the pub the next day to tell him so.

Robert… literally has learnt nothing from his past mistakes. @ Robert, pls re-read Part One. _Your money means nothing,_ etc.

Anyway, he asks Aaron to talk to him, tries to get him to stop beating himself up about Katie and tells Aaron that he’s worried. Aaron really doesn’t care and once again tells Robert to leave him tf alone. ROBERT’S FACE IS ALL SOFT AND SWEET AND OH MY GOD HE MIGHT HAVE… LEGIT, REAL FEELINGS???????? What a world…

Continuing his pursuit of Emmerdale’s Best/Worst Suitor, Robert tries yet another tactic to get Aaron to talk to him, by dragging Ross and his stolen cars into things. Because I suppose it worked out well last time. Finally having had enough of Robert’s general annoying presence and persistence, Aaron follows Robert out to the good old layby and they have it out.

Aaron finally starts talking about his guilt over Katie and Robert looks like his withered soul is dying just a little bit, but also pretty flipping determined to help Aaron feel better, somehow. He decides the best way is to let Aaron take his anger out on him, rather than his usual self-harm. Aaron tells Robert that he can’t possibly understand how bad he feels and Robert, in one last ditch attempt to help ease Aaron’s pain, confesses that he was in fact the one who killed Katie.

Which.

Damn.

Robert comes clean about everything, he’s astonishingly honest - reveals more than Aaron could ever possibly need to know. Aaron is heartbroken at this reveal, Robert apologises and Aaron punches Rob. Aaron drives off and Robert yells after him but ultimately lets him go. As always, Robert gives Aaron all the rope he could ever need to hang Robert with. Every honest and incriminating truth Robert has to share, he gives to Aaron, all in a desperate attempt to stop Aaron from falling apart. Robert knows the risks, has been threatened by Aaron enough times, about this secret and every other one, knows Aaron has actually betrayed him before and still - still Robert spills everything. Ultimately, Robert’s all-time number one goal of self-preservation means nothing in the face of Aaron’s pain.

(Honestly I will point this out again and again, because it’s really the first thing that made me fall in love with them - because in the battle between Robert’s every instinct to keep himself safe and out of trouble (and able to comfortably live the life of riches and power he’s built for himself), and his concern for Aaron’s well-being - well, his own livelihood barely even comes close, at the end of it all. It may always take him some time, but it always comes down to this, doesn’t it? Aaron defying everything Robert ever knew about or planned for himself and Robert completely surrendering to that. It’s amazing.)

ANYWAY. Aaron beats up Robert (which: I don’t condone this but in fairness, Robert literally did sort of tell him to), they both go home and then Robert goes off to find Aaron again anyway, because he’s still worried. Robert gives Aaron all these quiet, angsty stares and Aaron is still angry and upset. Aaron is once again absolutely set to tell everyone the truth and Robert tries to talk him round again. He emphatically tells Aaron that he’s not alone, that he would gladly take a beating to try and get that through to Aaron, that if he lost Aaron he “couldn’t handle it” and it’s just… damn. YES OK YES HE COULD BE MANIPULATING AARON that’s true, but… Robert has been so incredibly and consistently honest with Aaron in these few episodes, dangerously so, that it all honestly feels closer to truth than lie at this point. 

Aaron points out that Robert still has Chrissie and Robert immediately answers that she’s not enough and this whole scene is really just one declaration after another from Robert - that he needs Aaron, that he has feelings for Aaron beyond sex, that he couldn’t just be married to Chrissie, couldn’t not be with Aaron. It’s the first time we really start to get the idea that, when it comes to feelings, Aaron and Robert may actually be on slightly more of a level playing field then we initially thought.

Aaron gets up to walk away and Robert, in one last ditch attempt, says a desperate and heartfelt _I love you_. This gets Aaron’s attention, funnily enough. Robert says his ICONIC LINE “I love you and I can’t watch you suffer” and then tells Aaron to do what he likes with the information he has.

 The next time we see Aaron, he’s chilling in the Woolie, staring moodily into space (that old pastime). Vic says some kind words to him about Robert again - a tried and true method of getting Aaron to talk to Robert has always been to have Vic big him up a bit. She is the True Captain.

Aaron calls Rob to the Woolie and they meet on the STAIRCASE OF EMOTIONS. Aaron asks if Robert meant what he said and gets him to say it again and we all CRY A LOT BECAUSE YEP THEY’RE IN LOVE EVEN THOUGH AARON’S NOT GOING TO SAY IT BACK. ROBERT SAYS THAT’S FAIR, THAT HE CAN WAIT, AND _HOLY SHIIIIT_ DOES HE KEEP THAT FUCKING PROMISE. Aaron asks for there to be no more secrets between them and Rob swears on his life - and to be fair, in that moment, I think he’s probably telling the truth.

(Naturally, this will change very shortly)

**How little did they mean it?** 5/5. Holy shit, Aaron meant it. Look at the god damn LENGTHS Robert had to go to to get Aaron back. My god.

(Although, if he really had meant it, he wouldn’t have gotten back with Robert at all. But this is a scale on robron’s terms so… you know. We’ve quite firmly established that their break ups mean literally nothing by this point, haven’t we? Anyway, they’re officially In Love.)

 

**Honourable Mention #9: 27th March 2015**

So, following Robert’s beautiful and timely little confession of love, the boys are properly back together again. They have a cute little scene at Vic’s birthday and make flirty eyes and everything’s great until Chrissie walks in and mentions, in front of Aaron, that Robert and the Whites are all planning to go away to the beach. Which Aaron isn’t the most pleased about, bless him. The happiness didn’t even last one damn day.

Minutes later, Chas and Aaron have a conversation where Chas basically full on lies to Aaron, telling him that Robert is annoyed at him and planning to pull out of the Scrapyard. Aaron goes off to sulk in the Woolie loos and Robert goes to find him, because this is where they hold all of their covert affair era meetings. The loos. Height of romance, that is.

(I JOKE BUT I MISS THEM. #CAMPAIGN TO BRING BACK THE MEETINGS IN THE LADS BOGS. JUST LET THEM MAKE OUT IN THERE AGAIN OR SOMETHING. FOR OLD TIMES SAKE. HEY - IT WOULDN’T EVEN MATTER IF SOMEONE WALKED IN ON THEM THIS TIME. DO THIS FOR ME @ EMMERDALE I DON’T ASK FOR MUCH)

Anyway. Aaron is annoyed at Robert because he thinks Robert doesn’t want to be with him anymore. Robert immediately corrects Aaron - he’s actually managed to convince the Whites to scarper off without him, so that he and Aaron can spend the week together in Home Farm instead. They kiss and I cry because the legend that is Home Farm week was what got us through many a dark time, all the way back in late 2015. The one instance of fluffy domesticity we had. Iconic.

 

**Honourable Mention #10: 30th March 2015 - 7th April 2015**

HOME FARM WEEK.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ISN’T A BREAK UP WE’RE 10,000 WORDS IN STOP JUDGING MY CHOICES.

Aaron’s still trying to convince Chas that he and Robert are very much not on, all the while basically moving into Home Farm for a week to have a loved up shag fest with the smug asshole in question. We do not see enough of this week of True Love - Aaron is too busy trying to help Adam navigate his own ridiculous personal problems (Aaron is such a good friend to Adam he could be spending all day every day rolling around with Robert and boning on every available surface but instead he spends the week trying to save Adam from his stupid decisions but it’s ok because it’s Bartsy and it’s beautiful and they’re cute so) but oh my god I just want to point out HOW MUCH HAPPIER AARON LOOKS????? REMEMBER THE PREVIOUS WEEK WHEN HE WAS MID-BREAKDOWN AND CRYING CONSTANTLY????????? HE LOOKS SO MUCH BETTER?????

THIS IS GREAT but also turns out to be terrible because it’s all dependant on the fact that he’s convinced himself that this week of domestic bliss with Robert is way more of a permanent thing than it actually is.

Aaron and Robert wake up together on Easter Monday and are lounging about on the sofas at Home Farm. Aaron is set to go for a run and Robert is trying to tempt him to stay at home while he cooks them breakfast. Aaron has no interest in whatever Robert wants to make them, because it turns out Robert has too busy getting busy with Aaron to go food shopping at any point. Rob then suggests a far more appealing plan of going back to bed to continue from wherever they left off that morning, proving once again that he is in fact the human equivalent of a bonobo monkey. (...that’s the monkey that has sex all the time… as a form of communication and conflict resolution…. they literally bone constantly… you get it.)

Aaron is all smiley and flirty and they have a little nose-rubby kiss and Robert is grabbing Aaron’s shirt and satan comes to collect my soul as I die inside at the sight and then Aaron gets up bc he’s flipping determined to keep me from my robron bed scene i hate you aaron dingle i hate you.

Aaron can’t be tempted - or rather, he can, but his mum is waiting for him at the pub so that they can go running and he doesn’t want to tip her off to where he’s really been spending his nights. Robert stops Aaron with a gentle little reminder to go easy on the run and he sounds all loving and concerned and Aaron smiles and says he’s _fine_ and he MEANS IT because HE’S HAPPY because this is all he’s ever wanted with Robert - a real relationship.

Too bad it’s all gonna come crashing down around him. What a surprise.

 

**15\. 6th April 2015**

Aaron leaves for his run just as Robert gets a text from Chrissie, mentioning that she’ll be back tomorrow. Instead of mentioning this to Aaron, Robert sends him a text saying _don’t be long :)_ , because clearly the only response to this is to try and get Aaron in his bed one more time. Aaron comes back, they get straight to the lovin’ and then retreat down to the kitchen so that Aaron can make them both a cup of tea. Nothing like a post-Afternoon Delight cuppa.

As Aaron opens the fridge to grab the milk, he notices Robert has stocked up on food, finally. Aaron looks all cute and happy and asks if Robert is cooking them both a proper meal later, to which Robert replies that nope, reality check son, my wife is coming back and I’m just covering my dirty cheating tracks.

I FEEL AS SAD AS AARON INSTANTLY LOOKS OK I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID BEFORE I DO NOT MISS THE AFFAIR DAYS FAST FORWARD TO THE DAYS WHEN THEY CAN HAPPILY BONE ALL DAY AND MAKE EACH OTHER CUPS OF TEA AND DINNERS WITHOUT ANY STUPID TIME LIMIT I- um.

Anyway, it really is a wake up call for Aaron, a harsh reminder that despite the fact that they’re both clearly in love with one another and happy together, they’ve only been playing house and Robert is still very much married. Aaron gets angry, Robert tries to calm him, but ultimately Aaron walks out.

**How long did it last?** Uh. Hours. Sort of. I mean, they’re still together this isn’t a break up leave me in peace.

Aaron goes back home and gets right back to his previous coping mechanism - he packs his bag with a bunch of full 2L bottles of water and goes for a run. Chas and Paddy notice something is wrong immediately and Chas is instantly and rightly worried. Meanwhile, back at Home Farm, the Whites are back and Chrissie is complaining about how bad their trip was and how alone she felt. She comforts herself with the knowledge that Robert also spent the week sitting around, all alone. Bless her.

Later on, Aaron is moping around the pub when Robert shows up. Aaron immediately gets up and walks out because he’s still annoyed and Robert looks GUILTY AF because you just KNOW he would rather be spending the night (AND THE REST OF HIS NIGHTS FOR ALL TIME UNTIL THE END OF TIME) with Aaron. THEY’RE IN LOVE THEY’RE DEFINITELY IN LOVE AT THIS POINT THEY JUST WANT TO BE TOGETHER BUT ROBERT STILL THINKS HE LOVES MONEY MORE AND ROBERT’S GOT HIS PERFECT LIFE AND ROBERT IS A GOD DAMN TOOL OK he’s a scared and panicky manslaughtery tool and I sort of want to give him a hug.

Those too-generous feelings will disappear again soon.

Aaron’s off out for a run again and Chas decides to come with him, to keep an eye on him. Half way through, she confronts Aaron, because she’s clocked that robron are back on. She makes an impassioned plea to Aaron to stay away from Robert, because Robert isn’t good for him (because, again, she’s still contributing Aaron’s recent worrying behaviour to Robert, as opposed to Aaron’s still lingering guilt over Katie) (Although I suppose this particular run _is_ about Robert so, you know. Seriously, get Chas that detective show.)

So, they argue and Aaron runs off, ostensibly to go hide at Adam’s place. Instead he keeps running, trips over and hurts himself badly enough that he can’t get up. Or maybe doesn’t want to get up. We see him lying on the forest floor shivering and I basically try to hammer out my tv screen in an attempt to get in there and give him a blanket and a gentle hug.

The next morning, Aaron hasn’t turned up anywhere and Chas reluctantly goes to find Robert, because she’s concerned. Robert tries to act unconcerned but also then immediately offers to take Chas to go find him???? In a soft concerned voice???? He’s in love??????

…..He’s also a _fucking idiot_. Chas and Robert have it out in the forest as they search, and Chas cons Robert into admitting that he’s still sleeping with Aaron. Robert tries to make Chas understand that he cares about Aaron. Not only does Chas not believe this, but she also threatens to out Robert to Chrissie.

Robert’s response to this is to pick up a pointy rock and try to murder her.

As you do.

Just in time, Aaron… makes some sort of noise? That they hear? Don’t question it it’s a soap. Chas and Robert go racing off to find him, and sure enough, there he is, still shivering on the forest floor. Robert is so openly and clearly terrified for Aaron’s well being that Chas finally understands - Robert loves Aaron. _She_ still doesn’t trust him though, because she knows that despite that, he’s still never going to leave his wife. She tells him as much and then reiterates that she’s still going to tell Chrissie about the affair, because she sort of just wants to destroy Robert’s life.

Sigh.

Robert spends some time sitting in his car staring creepily at Chas and Plotting Things™. Because murder is the clear way forward here. Makes total sense. You do you Robert. You god damn fool.

Aaron wakes up in the hospital to Chas and Paddy. Chas wastes no time in confronting Aaron _again_ about Robert, which basically leads Aaron into saying that Robert is the only thing he’s living for right now, essentially. Oh, Aaron. I still want to hug him.

Because it’s clearly the day of honesty, Aaron later also admits to Paddy that the real reason why he’s struggling is not because Robert is still with Chrissie, but because of his part in what happened to Katie. He leaves out Robert’s much more significant role in her death entirely and fudges some details, mostly to protect Robert.

Speaking of Robert, we return to find him, looking nervous and on the phone. To a hit man. In order to have Chas _killed_. He asks for her death to be “quick and painless” which is super considerate what a fucking peach.

Shortly after, Chas storms over to confront Robert. _AGAIN_. My god, woman. Anyway, they threaten each other a bunch and Robert makes some sort of thinly veiled statement that Chas’ imminent murder is going to cause Aaron pain and it’s going to be her fault. Which. Robert.

There are no words.

Anyway, it turns out that Robert had worked out long before Chas that Aaron’s running was a form of self-harm and Chas doesn’t really know what to say to that. They threaten each other some more and hold each other to account for the ways they’ve both treated Aaron wrongly, and Robert, underneath all his ABSOLUTE HORRIBLENESS, genuinely sounds concerned about Aaron’s well-being. He may be acting like kind of a nutjob, but he still just sort of wants Aaron to be ok.

Finally, BOMBSHELL ALERT - Chas reveals why she’s really at Home Farm.

She says that if she tells Chrissie about the affair, Aaron will get hurt just as badly as Robert will. So she’s not going to do it.

Robert breathes the biggest breath of relief, Chas tells him to keep it in his pants in the future ( _a good piece of advice... a wise piece of advice..._ ) and then, when she leaves, Robert legitimately dives for the phone to try and cancel the GOD DAMN HIT HE HAS PUT OUT ON HER?????????

Of course, this being Emmerdale, the hitman’s phone number doesn’t work. Bummer. Anyway, long story short, it’s Robert “Pigeon Brain” Sugden to the rescue, as he manages to stop the _literal murder_ he’s tried to arrange just in time and Chastity Dingle gets to live another sparkly, gobby day.

Is it worth mentioning that Robert basically gives up on stopping the hit until he goes to visit Aaron, who says emphatically that he needs his mum, which apparently kicks Robert back into gear? I don’t know, sometimes the show likes to try and convince us that Robert could ever actually kill someone in cold blood. Which. Yes ok Emmerdale. Ok. Let’s just roll with it for a moment, shall we?

**Who came crawling back first?** ….Does attempting to murder Chas twice count as Robert crawling back? No??? Fine.

Anyway, Rob and Aaron still want to be together and I still love Robert despite him being the literal human equivalent of a broken nose sometimes and honestly, Aaron never needs to know about this particular stupid decision, does he? No. Ok. Let’s go back to forgetting it ever happened now. Awesome.

**How little did they mean it?** THEY DIDN’T IT’S NOT A BREAK UP IT’S NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY A BREAK UP IS IT I JUST WANT. THIS. POST. TO. END.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s it folks. We end on a rough note for Robert, but it’s ok. He’ll make up for it. Eventually. I love him anyway. My own human junk pile Robert Sugden.
> 
> Tune in next time for a period of less murdering. Just as many break ups, though.


	3. Part Four: The Real Deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so we return again to what is ostensibly a Break Up Counter but is actually at this point just a general recap of Aaron and Robert’s entire storyline, because I literally have no self-control.
> 
> Fair warning to you - with this post we reach The Donny Saga and The Time of Chrobert and the first Proper Break Up, which is personally one of my least favourite eras as far as Aaron and Robert are concerned and I spend most of it wanting to silently and furiously throw sharp objects at my tv screen. I MAY NOT BE AS SUBTLE ABOUT MY DISLIKE AS I COULD BE, TO BE HONEST.
> 
> But still, this has been therapeutic, and has reminded me that we’ve lived through many a Dark Age before.
> 
> Anyway, everyone loves a good bit of low-key saltiness don’t they? And also, in amongst all the… Lachlan stuff… there’s still some really wonderful moments, because of course there are. It’s Aaron and Robert.
> 
> I love you all. Thank you for your kind comments and likes/kudos/general loveliness. Enjoy.

**16\. 15th April 2015**

So we pick up with things happening with Lachlan that I’m not even going to pretend to care about. Robert is distracted, Aaron is back from the hospital and Paddy and Chas are both Very Unsatisfied by this whole goddamn bitch of a situation. Anyway - the important thing is, in among all this stuff, Lachlan’s dad Donny comes back, which is only enjoyable if you enjoy seeing Robert irrationally hate people out of sheer jealousy (which I do, so here I am).

In the midst of all this, Aaron and Robert are not actually talking, according to Aaron, who is staring sadly at his phone in wait.  

(At the same time as this is happening, Vic and Adam agree to go on a double date with Finn and the bloke he’s seeing and I scream a thousand screams of actual agony because when will they go on a double date with Aaron and Robert what the ACTUAL HELL)

(…moving on)

Anyway, Robert rocks up at the Woolpack to visit Aaron, who is still annoyed that Robert has been ignoring his messages and expresses this. Robert explains that Donny has turned up, Aaron asks if Robert’s jealous and Robert pulls this great ~offended~ face, as if that’s not exactly what’s happening. Aaron teases Rob a little bit to try and lighten the mood but Robert still kind of looks grumpy, so Aaron gets the hump and tells Robert to call him when he’s ready to talk. As he leaves, Robert looks all sad and guilty. It’s so hard maintaining two romantic relationships at once, isn’t it Robert? Poor angel.

 **How long did it last?** Less than a day. Probably minutes, honestly. Robert had probably text Aaron with a wink face and a flirty joke before he even got out of the door.

But on screen, the very next day we see them at the scrapyard, literally just standing around and making out next to a rusty old van. Robert checks his watch to keep an eye on the time (lest Chrissie get suspicious) and Aaron comments that Robert has yet to have a go at him today - an odd occurrence given how moody Robert has obviously been lately. Robert laughs and explains that it’s Donny (TO WHICH AARON REPLIES “IT’S AARON, ACTUALLY”. AARON DINGLE KING OF HUMOUR). Robert goes on to talk about his annoyance at Donny’s general presence, because he’s clearly jealous and worried that he’s going to start making moves on Chrissie. Aaron, understandably, is about as sympathetic as an imminently dying person might be towards someone who sneezed once 5 hours ago and points out the absurd irony that _Robert_ is worried about _Chrissie_ cheating.

Robert doesn’t quite dignify that observation with a response, but simply apologises because he’s aware that him moaning about his marriage to his lover is probably not the smoothest of moves. He dials the pretty charm up to 560 and tells Aaron that they should meet tonight and go on a big romantic date with food and drinks and that Aaron should wear a suit (OK HE SAYS “PUT SOMETHING DECENT ON” BUT THIS OBVIOUSLY MEANS SUIT IT’S ROCK SOLID CANON THAT ROBERT LITERALLY FALLS OVER HIMSELF AT THE SIGHT OF AARON IN A SUIT SO) and that he might even be able to wrangle them an entire night together. He leaves and Aaron watches him go, biting back the smallest little smile because he’s all excited. Well. That will disappear soon.

 **Who came crawling back first?** I don’t know they literally went from Aaron walking out to the two of them snogging. It was obviously Robert though.

 **How little did they mean it?** 0/5 I mean why even ask at this point

 

**17\. 16th April 2015 - 17th April 2015**

So, Aaron goes home after work and gets ready for his date with Robert. He’s not wearing a suit and I’m upset about it. Probably for the best though, because Robert has literally gone home and immediately dragged Chrissie into bed because he is the dictionary definition of “insatiable”, with the intent of spending the night with her. Has he already forgotten what he just said to Aaron? Stop double booking your dates Robert, you literal butthole.

Robert sort of neglects to mention his self-inflicted change of plans to Aaron, who ends up waiting around in the Woolie and leaving an angry voicemail with Robert, who obviously still hasn’t turned up. Luckily, Chas comes along to provide an excellent distraction, when she reveals that James has cheated on her. Cain barges in shortly afterwards and both he and Aaron look ready to punch all the things.

Aaron walks out (or hobbles - he’s still on crutches following his accident) and gets almost accidentally pushed to the floor by Paddy. Paddy notices the Face of Thunder™ Aaron is wearing and asks what’s wrong. Aaron fills him in about James and just sort of looks fed up with life. To rub salt into an already gaping wound, Robert rocks up with Chrissie, heading towards the pub, for the date night that he and Aaron were supposed to have, because apparently it’s ASSHOLE WEEK AND ROBERT IS THE NUMBER ONE PARTICIPANT DO YOU MIND ROBERT YOU’RE MAKING YOUR BOYFRIEND SAD YOU FLIPPING BAGEL BITE OH MY GOD

It’s at this point that I’m remembering why I never rewatch this particular era in their storyline.

Anyway, Aaron limps off, even angrier still, and snaps at a following Paddy to leave him be. Back at the pub, Aaron bumps into James, who is going through the ‘collecting his stuff’ stage of the break up. James tries to apologise and Aaron calls him a little muppet, growls a bit and refuses to let him leave.

James snaps and says that Aaron gets a free pass with Chas for every mistake he makes, which he understands because Aaron is her son, but - to quote James - “boy, do you need it”. Well, James isn’t wrong. In perfect soap timing, Robert chooses this moment to walk into the pub with Chrissie, still on the date he was supposed to take Aaron on. Aaron and James’ fight escalates, Aaron follows him out into the pub and catches sight of Robert and Chrissie, James calls him a coward who can’t face up to his actions and Aaron just snaps, grabs an ENTIRE FUCKING WINE BOTTLE and bottles James over the head.

In front of a lot of witnesses.

James gets back up and they start arguing again, but Cain keeps them separate and forces James to leave. Robert gets up with the intent of “doing something” to help, having completely forgotten about Chrissie’s presence in the face of Aaron doing something stupid, but Chrissie immediately forces him to sit back down. Chas comes out, Pete rocks up, it’s a whole thing, there’s a lot of arguing and Aaron just really looks like he wants a fight. You’re on crutches son, be good to yourself.

Anyway, other stuff happens. Donny gets beaten up and Aaron gets questioned by the police because he literally assaulted James in front of like 50 witnesses. Luckily, James gives Aaron an alibi for the police and he’s free to go.

 **How long did it last?** Bloody forever

 **Who came crawling back first?** Robert. Obviously. Robert drives up to the village to talk to Aaron and apologises for standing him up the night before. It’s the worst apology I’ve ever heard and Robert seems mostly perplexed that Aaron doesn’t want to both forgive him and hear about his dramas with Donny trying to steal Chrissie or whatever.

A few days later, Robert goes to find Aaron at the scrapyard and apologise. This scene mostly exists for Aaron to tell Robert that he’s seen Donny for the first time and overheard a dodgy call, which sends Robert back to Home Farm to #expose Donny to Chrissie once and for all.

More stuff happens with Donny. Ross and Chrissie flirt and I cry over their absurdly good sexual chemistry. Other stuff happens with Donny and he tries to steal Lachlan from the village or whatever. Sadly, he fails. Chrissie takes this as a cue to have Donny brutally murdered or some shit and Robert finds this to be the best turn on in the world and god help me I literally love everything about them despite myself. They’re like the Ultimate Evil Scheming Power Couple of Emmerdale, except Robert is utterly in love with someone else and Chrissie deserves better.

Also at some point Bob makes Robert a cake and sings him Happy Birthday. I understand this has nothing to do with anything, but it felt important to point out.

 **How little did they mean it?** I mean, as much as it didn’t even sound like a break up when it happened, a damn lot, a whole flipping 5/5.

The show has, at this point, basically decided that Home Farm week never happened and it’s Chrobert’s time to shine. At one point Robert goes to the pub while Aaron is there sitting pretty in the background and has a secret meeting with ROSS BARTON. They don’t even make eyes at each other, this era sucks.

Speaking of, Ross gleefully spills to Chrissie that Robert set up the Home Farm raid. She confronts Robert, he thinks she’s found out about Aaron, but nope. Just the original shit he pulled. She yells and then he yells and then Robert goes off to confront Ross and Aaron appears and Robert doesn’t even give him a flirty look and I just want this era to end.

Robert ends up with Diane, who insists that he stay with her in the pub. Aaron walks in to find Robert looking pathetic and STILL NOT TRYING TO BANG HIM

AND THEY ARGUE AS IF THEY NEVER WERE EVEN IN LOVE BECAUSE ROBERT IS ANGRY ABOUT LOSING CHRISSIE AND AARON IS ANGRY AT ROBERT FOR BEING A DICK AND THEN AARON THREATENS TO TELL CHRISSIE EVERYTHING AND ROBERT SAYS “YOU’RE NOTHING TO ME” AND EVERYTHING HURTS ME IT’S NOT EVEN GOOD ANGST™

They’re literally sleeping under the same roof and not talking OR banging.

It’s absurd and it’s offensive.

At the prospect of having to actually live with Robert, Aaron asks Paddy to borrow some money so that he can leave the village for a bit and get some thoroughly undramatic and much needed peace. He changes his mind though, and has a great chat with Chas about Robert and Carl and Aaron is absolutely resolute that he’s finished with Robert, regardless of whether he comes crawling back for more.

Later on, Robert has literally changed his tune entirely and tries to get back into Aaron’s good books. Aaron gives him a shove, tells him they’re done. Robert apologises, says he shouldn’t have pushed Aaron away, but Aaron stays true to his word and doesn’t give in.

Oh man, yeah. This is a Break Up.

Luckily, knowing what we know about these two, it may be Over For Now, but it is in no way Over For Good.

**Honourable Mention #10: 11th May 2015 - 14th May 2015**

Fast forward a bit. Robert and Aaron are still living under the same roof and still haven’t banged again, which is entirely unrealistic, but hey - good for Aaron. I guess. Speaking of Aaron, he literally grabs a paper and sticks it down in front of Robert, telling him to find his own place and move on. Robert, who is sitting at the bar looking thoroughly depressed, uses his Soft Aaron Voice and asks if they can go and talk somewhere. Aaron tells him to not be a prat and walks away.

CAN I JUST POINT OUT HOW GOOD ALL OF THIS COULD HAVE BEEN IF THE SHOW WANTED TO ADMIT THAT EITHER OF THEM EVER HAD FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER BEYOND “NICE DICK” BECAUSE IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO. GOOD. INSTEAD, THEY DON’T AND I’M MOSTLY JUST MAD.

ON PAPER IT SOUNDS LIKE THERE SHOULD BE ALL THIS SEXUAL TENSION AND ANGST AND IT SHOULD BE BEAUTIFUL. IT’S NOT. DON’T WATCH IT TO TRY AND PROVE ME WRONG. ALL YOU’LL END UP WITH IS DISAPPOINTMENT.

The next day, Robert is meeting with Rakesh, because despite Robert’s best efforts, Chrissie still wants to divorce him. She’s still upset about that whole Home Farm break in thing. Bummer. Aaron walks in on the meeting and refuses to leave, gloats, gets a good couple of digs in… generally looks like he’s having a very satisfying time winding Robert up. Robert reacts to this all by getting steaming drunk. Aaron finds him and takes him back to the Woolpack, gets him a coffee and takes care of him, because Aaron is a good person and also still completely in love with Robert.

Robert apologises sincerely, talks about how much being alone terrifies him and tries to kiss Aaron. Aaron pushes Robert away and walks out. Chas sees the kiss and freaks out once more that Aaron and Robert are going to end up together. I’m telling you - give Chas a detective show or a psychic certification because she’s NEVER WRONG ABOUT THIS STUFF.

Chas and Paddy confront Aaron once more and he decides to sort out the living-with-Robert situation once and for all - and goes to pay a visit to Chrissie.

Blinding red herring - here we are, getting ready to see Aaron reveal the affair, but instead Aaron goes to Chrissie and basically convinces her to give Robert another chance and my heart shatters to little pieces because oh my god, Aaron just wants to be away from Robert, knows that if Robert stays they’ll end up getting back together and it’s just sad ok it’s sad and I’m sad.

The scene is amazing though. Aaron really sells it and it’s fascinating. He goes back to the Woolie to find a now sober and hungover Robert, who is absolutely not in the mood for Aaron to have it out with him again about moving out. Aaron explains what he’s done to Robert. Chrissie appears just in time to overhear their conversation. It all starts off great, then Robert starts bitching and Aaron admits that he flat out lied to Chrissie and ultimately, Chrissie _locks Robert in a barn and pretends to set it on fire._

Seems reasonable.

Ah yeah and lest we forget - that’s exactly the way his mother died.

God they’re terrible to each other.

Anyway - a fascinating little sidenote to this particular honourable mention: Robert, in another desperate attempt to get Chrissie back, tells her that he knows he does stupid things, hurts the people he loves, manipulates, etc. and that he’ll change. She almost believes him, until he accidentally drops the massive cheque she gave him as a settlement and frantically reaches down to grab it, proof that more than anything, Robert cares about her money. There are so many similarities between this and the conversation Robert will have with Aaron about how he wants to change and be better for Aaron - except that with Aaron he honestly, genuinely means it.

He’s nowhere near there yet though. He does, however, go back to the Woolpack to find Aaron and they have a conversation - one of the first probably almost civil conversations since they split up.

Robert asks Aaron to run away with him. They’ll take the cheque Chrissie gave him and make a fresh start somewhere else, together. Aaron says that if Robert had been asking this a few weeks ago, Aaron would already be out of the door with his bags packed and ready to go. Now though - now he’s lost his trust in Robert and more than that, knows that wherever they go, even with Robert not being with Chrissie, they still won’t be able to be openly in a relationship because Robert still isn’t ready to come out.

Because, and this is important, Robert has spent all this time not with Chrissie, with Chrissie seemingly firmly out of the picture, and he and Aaron still haven’t become a proper couple - which is something I think Aaron had really put his hopes on, deep down - that the person getting between them was Chrissie, more than Robert himself.

Aaron asks Robert to go out into the bar and tell everyone, to “say it proud” and of course, Robert isn’t in the right place to do it. Aaron says that all he wants is for Robert to not be in his face 24/7 and tells him to “do one” (ah boy, I’ve missed that phrase) and storms off.

 

**Honourable Mention #11: May 2015 - June 2015**

FAST FORWARD SOME MORE. Robert and Chrissie get back together because Robert and Lachlan are like best buddies at this point and Lachlan helps out. It’s adorable in the sense that Ryan and Louise have lovely chemistry, but you know, whatever.

Robert breaks the news to Aaron and is all “no hard feelings” which Aaron quite rightly laughs off because What. The. Hell. Ah Robert, you dingbat. You can try to pretend like what you had with Aaron meant nothing but we all know the truth son. WE KNOW THE TRUTH.

He’s so good at lying to himself, isn’t he?

Aaron gets distracted by more Adam and Victoria drama, which is great. Anyway, on the day Victoria and Adam are supposed to move in together, Vic finds out that Adam had a one night stand with Vanessa and may have knocked her up. Aaron is a supportive friend and Robert appears to have the sweetest conversation with Victoria and be a supportive brother.

I say sweetest, but the whole thing is literally him suggesting she get her revenge.Whatever, it’s still sweet. Robert decides the best way to do this is to use some of his dodgy contacts to try and get Adam arrested because of course that’s how Robert responds to things.

Anyway, this is all to set the scene for Robert’s sudden and visceral hatred of Adam Barton. Vic and Adam reunite and decide to run off together with the intent of getting married. Robert… does not take this well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Short and sweet (…in a way). I’m ending this here so that I can get it out of my drafts and move on to the next post, because this entire thing was written about two months ago and has been sitting untouched ever since. Tragic. So, onwards to the next part - which, coincidentally, is my all-time favourite era and also, let’s be honest, possibly the worst robron break-up to exist in this day and age so far.
> 
> (AND FOREVER MORE I DO NOT WANT LODGE PART TWO DO U HEAR ME UNIVERSE? NO. ONCE WAS PLENTY.)
> 
> That’s right kiddies. It’s The Lodge.


	4. Part Five: Love, Lodge and (attempted mans)Laughter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, it's that time again: time for me to literally recap Robert and Aaron's storyline and pretend it's for any reason other than “I wanna”.
> 
> Let’s just rename this whole thing to The Robert and Aaron Love Story: A Tale of Mess and Suffering™ and be done with it. 
> 
> In this part, we move swiftly on from the Era of Donny and into what I tend to class as my favourite era (...nah that's fucked up lo). 
> 
> Thank you, as always, for the comments/likes/kudos. You guys honestly make me feel slightly less guilty about spending this much free time on something this self-indulgent. I love you all.
> 
> We left our heroes (so to speak) in the midst of a The First Real Break Up. They're not spending much time together and Robert is out for revenge on Adam Barton for cheating on his little sister and knocking up Vanessa.
> 
> Yeah. The irony.
> 
> ...Let's not think about it. Instead, let's get straight down to, at last, another reunion… which is then immediately followed by The Second Real Break Up. And oh fuck, this one is worse.
> 
> Actually, this is a post of nothing but honourable mentions, ending in one spectacular, monster of a proper break up. Buckle up, kids! It's Lodge Time!

 

**Honourable Mention #12: 8th June 2015**

We left off with Robert, who is trying to send Adam to jail for cheating on Victoria, which isn’t even a slight overreaction and is completely reasonable. Adam and Vic have a whole plot that culminates in the two of them running away to get married because they’re pure and adorable and in love and because Vic almost manslaughtered Ashley. 

There’s loads of drama and it’s great and Robert has terrible hair but he’s all about helping his sister - and blaming her boyfriend in the process. He vows to send Adam to the police in Victoria’s place regardless of what she wants - Vic obviously doesn’t approve and tells him so. Robert’s response is the verbal equivalent of a shrug. Between this and the just as vocal, if not as cartoon villain cruel, disapproval of both their families, Adam and Victoria make the decision to not let anyone in on the plans when they elope.

ALSO SCRAPPY THE DOG IS THERE RIP SCRAPPY U WERE A GOOD BOY

In fact, Aaron and Finn are the only ones who know anything at all. As they’re leaving, Adam and Vic send texts out to everyone they love - Vic texts Andy with a sweet little “I love you but we want to get married, sorry x”, while Adam texts Robert “Get nutted.” True poetry.

Upon receiving these texts, Rob and Andy go racing off to the scrapyard, where they are met with a smug Aaron and an adorable Scrappy (COME BACK BOY). Robert and Aaron go back and forth angrily at one another and Rob is all “I can see where your loyalties lie” while looking IRRITATED AF that said loyalties no longer lie with him.

Aaron immediately counters with a threatening little “You what?” and Robert instantly looks back at Andy, suddenly remembering just how much he can’t actually afford to piss off Aaron, because Aaron  _ knows too much _ . He does a swift U-turn and instead tries to play to Aaron’s sympathies, because that’s always worked so well before, and says that he just wants to protect his sister. Aaron, naturally, doesn’t believe a word which pisses Robert off again and he ends up threatening Aaron -

Well. He says “When I find them … you’re in as much trouble as they are.” Which. As threats go. Not really Robert’s most inspired. Aaron acts like he isn’t bothered, calls Rob “mate” about a hundred times over to really emphasise the “WE’RE NOT BONING ANYMORE” aspect of this whole conversation and Rob and Aaron keep going at it and getting more and more pissy until Aaron throws his tea onto the ground next to Robert’s probably expensive shoes and retreats back into the Portacabin.

Andy reappears suddenly because oh yeah, he’s still there. We all almost forgot amongst all that sizzling hatred. Andy is as oblivious as the rest of the village bar Katie (rest in peace). Robert looks #shook because  _ Aaron used to love him ok _ and turns around and vows to kill Adam. Which is. You know. Again. Completely reasonable and not at all unhinged.

Although honestly, given what he gets up to in the rest of this part, it really is but a gentle blip on the Robert Sugden 2015 Scale of Violence and Terror™.

  
  


**Honourable Mention #13: 9th June 2015**

Robert decides to take matters into his own hands, as Robert is wont to do. He breaks into the Portacabin while Aaron’s out and searches the place, on the hunt for Victoria’s phone, which has been left in Aaron’s care (because Vic seems to think Rob, Diane or Andy would have the know-how to track her via Find my iPhone or whatever. I guarantee that none of them would.)

He finds it and goes to leave - just as Aaron is returning with Scrappy (so much Scrappy content, this is truly a highlight). He runs back to a desk chair and tries to act like a chill person who is absolutely up to only good things. Aaron is not even slightly surprised to find Robert sitting at a desk (the desk that will one day be Robert’s what a true blessing). Rob tries to act like he’s there to charm his sister’s whereabouts out of Aaron and let’s be real here, deep down he wants that shit to work. 

It doesn’t, because Aaron has been there, done that enough times to know better by this point. 

So Rob’s charm doesn’t work and Robert makes a swift escape, Vic’s phone safely in his pocket. It takes Aaron exactly 1.75 seconds to realise that something is up and he immediately checks to see if the phone is still there. Aaron… knows Robert so well. I’m emo.

Rob goes straight back to the Woolie to hang with Andy because appaz they’re buddies at the moment. He fills Andy in and reveals that he has sent a text to Diane from Vic’s phone, pretending to be Vic, to keep Diane in the dark while he tries to sort everything out himself.

Aaron comes marching in and demands Robert return the phones. Robert is all geared up and ready for some aggressive, sexually charged and evasive banter. Unfortunately, that’s when Andy decides to pipe up and full on accidentally admit that Robert has the phone, because the Sugden brother brains weren’t divided equally in the not-even-same gene pool jackpot of their lives.

It’s great though, because Aaron places his hand next to Robert’s head and leans right down into him and starts growling, basically. Andy doesn’t even question this because Andy literally has never cared less about anyone’s love life than he has about Robert’s, let’s be completely honest. He does not care enough to even question the fact that Aaron is literally sticking his face into Robert’s face. He doesn’t give one shit lads.

Robert does though because Robert absolutely still wants to be boning Aaron. Aaron has no intention of getting anywhere near that D though, so. Here we are. Sexually charged, angry growling.

I mean, I’ll take it.

  
  


**Honourable Mention #14: 15th - 25th June 2015**

Aaron and Andy, ever buddies, later meet up and try to get information out of each other - Andy wants to know where Victoria is and Aaron wants to know why Robert is sending texts to Diane from Vic’s phone. This morphs into a great conversation about Robert (or rather about how much Aaron does not trust Robert). Poor, easily influenced Andy then asks Robert about Aaron the next time he sees him - he wants to know why Aaron seems to hate Robert as much as he does. Robert’s on the spot excuse is that Aaron doesn’t like Robert acting like the boss at the scrapyard.

I guess Andy hasn’t yet realised that literally the only time Robert gets involved in scrapyard business is when he’s trying to find a reason to get Aaron to talk to him.

Later, Rob invites himself into the pub back room and sort of flirtily confronts Aaron about it all. Aaron is, as ever, completely Over It and refuses to play along with whatever game Robert is trying to start. Rob uses his soft voice and tries to convince Aaron to tell him where Victoria is and Aaron is all “u have such a nice smile i guess i’ll tell you, she’s in Birmingham… lol jk UR NOT THE BOSS OF ME ANYMORE”. Rob gets angry and Aaron acts completely unphased, but as soon as Rob walks away, Aaron’s face drops and he looks the complete opposite of unbothered.

He’s great at putting up a grumpy front, our Aaron.

Anyway, Andy gets the idea that Cain knows where Vic and Adam are and says as much to Robert, which sets Rob down a fateful path of winding Cain the hell up - something he will soon find out is decidedly not a good idea. 

Related - Chrissie has this whole plot about wanting to speak to Aaron and feeling suspicious and then for literally NO DISCERNIBLE REASON WHATSOEVER Cain and Chrissie make out in the garage??????? and Harriet, who is being paid by Robert to follow Cain and find Victoria, takes pictures.

LOOK I KNOW CHRISSIE IS HOT AF BUT CAIN IS MARRIED TO MOIRA AND

IT JUST DOESN’T MAKE SENSE?????????

It does result in some iconic™ scenes though so I can’t be too mad at it.

Rob unknowingly ~~~charms~~~ the photos of them kissing out of Harriet and looks SO UPSET because KARMA HURTS DOESN’T IT ROB

IT HURTS LIKE A BITCH

He makes Harriet give him copies and sits around just staring at them, pondering his options.

The option he ends up choosing is blackmail. He full on decides to blackmail Cain, who naturally doesn’t want Moira to find out about his absurd and ridiculous indiscretion. He pulls the most ICONIC STUNT OF ALL TIME by inviting Cain and Moira round for a lavish dinner under the guise of making a business deal and OK OK I KNOW THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ROBRON BUT IT’S INCREDIBLE SO JUST STICK WITH ME HERE OK

Lawrence and Chrissie are HELLA SUSPICIOUS of Robert because they know him and also HELLA UNCOMFORTABLE - Lawrence because he’s a classist asshole and Chrissie bc she snogged that dude not 24 hours ago.

As soon as they’re all sat down, Rob goes and stands in a hallway and texts Cain with the photo of he and Chrissie making out. Everyone is all ~~~hey Cain why are you all quiet hmmm~~~ while Cain stares absolute daggers at Robert and his smug face.

Turns out Cain doesn’t appreciate being ambushed and as soon as they both excuse themselves, he shoves Rob against a wall. They have some hilariously weird banter and it’s just g r e a t and I WANT THEM TO HAVE SCENES TOGETHER ALL THE TIME.

ANyways, Rob threatens Cain and goes on another rant about his current arch-enemy Adam and basically says FIND OUT WHERE THEY ARE OR I’M TELLING UR WIFE THAT U SNOGGED MY WIFE FOR NO GOD DAMN REASON

Also then Chrissie pops up and Rob decides to confront her about it too. Rob is all upset and angry and LITERALLY SAYS THE WORDS “I WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT TO YOU”

IN FAIRNESS HE’S BEING TOTALLY HONEST - ROB WOULD NEVER STOP THE CHEATING AT JUST A MEANINGLESS KISS

Anyways, Rob continues to go about his days, looking like he’s having the fucking time of his life having the upper hand against Cain - he loves feeling like Top Dog, our Rob, doesn’t he? Also Rob makes a HILARIOUS NUMBER OF INNUENDOES and it’s all just hilarious. 

Never one to be one-upped, particularly by someone who gets as quickly and recklessly out of his depth as Robert does, Cain finds out where the missing delinquents are through Finn and finds out that they’re planning on getting married. He goes back and tells Robert this, who instantly flips out because, again, he has a hilarious vendetta against Adam.

LONG STORY SHORT, Rob gets too power mad and pushes Cain too far and also decides to wreck the wedding, which Cain reckons Moira will hate -

And honestly, every person with a logical brain thinks that Robert is being INSANE -

So Cain kidnaps Robert.

Naturally.

The rest of the family make it to the wedding and it’s awesome and hella dramatic. Cain rocks up at the end of the wedding and Aaron ends up opening the boot of his car, only to find Robert, tied up and gagged, and not in a fun way.

(There’s no way that’s their kink, honestly - they’ve got too much irl experience with it involving other people at this point and occasionally each other for it to have any sex appeal to either of them, surely).

 

**Honourable Mention #15: 25th June 2015**

Aaron is NOT ABOUT this kidnapping business because he is a good person and actually no it’s totally because he still loves Robert. He LOVES ROBERT AND HE IS VISIBLY UPSET ABOUT CAIN’S PLAN TO BEAT THE SENSE OUT OF HIM AND IT’S JUST AMAZING IT’S AMAZING.

Cain takes Robert and Aaron to a random warehouse because Cain probably has access to at least 75% of the warehouses in Yorkshire. He ties Robert up and threatens him and Rob is smug as anything. Aaron is all STOP MOUTHING OFF ROBERT YOU ARE GOING TO GET HURT and Cain makes Aaron wait outside. Aaron looks reluctant but does it anyway and the SECOND Aaron is gone, the smug smile drops right off Robert’s face. Rob tries to bargain his way out of it but… well. It doesn’t work.

Aaron stands outside, hearing Rob’s screams of pain, and looks flipping distraught.

Cain manages to get Rob’s phone passcode out of him so that he can delete the pictures, but Rob starts stupidly threatening to kill Cain, which he doesn’t take too kindly to. It’s at this moment, right as Cain is about to start up round two, that Aaron bursts in and makes Cain stop. He unties Robert, holds him up, says he’ll tell Moira that something is up if Cain doesn’t let them go and eventually shoves Cain into a wall, locks him in the warehouse and he and Robert escape - in Cain’s car.

Aaron eventually gets Robert home and Rob is all “thanks xoxo it’s nice to know you still care about me” and Aaron DOES NOT EVEN REPLY BECAUSE AARON NEVER STOPPED LOVING ROBERT and instead asks why he was ever stupid enough to even mess with Cain. He’s all “YOU SHOULD BE MORE SCARED OF HIM UR GONNA GET HURT AGAIN OH AND BTW I DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOU HOW DARE YOU EVER IMPLY THAT I AM JUST A GOOD PERSON DOING THE RIGHT THING”

Only his facade is slipping right off because not even Robert believes Aaron - he says as much and Aaron doesn’t even respond, just disappears into the night and leaves Robert sitting there, bloody but smiling in the Home Farm kitchen because sure, he may have gotten beaten up today, but he also knows - he  _ knows _ \- that Aaron’s cold front has warmed up just the fraction high enough that he’s got another chance.

And really, that’s all Robert ever wanted.

A little while later, Chrissie walks in on Robert looking all broken and bruised and looks shocked which, by this point? It’s a bit much, she’s seen him looking like this so many times. He actually tells her a very stripped down version of the truth and just looks all sad - which only gets worse when Chrissie lets slip that Victoria and Adam did in fact get married.

Ever the drama queen, Robert gets up and limps his way over to the Woolie, where they’re having their reception/post-court hearing party. Rob goes for Adam and Victoria tells him to leave and eventually, Aaron yells at Robert and tells him to go, which Robert actually listens to. Aaron doesn’t even sound particularly vitriolic bc l-o-v-e.

Cain wanders in and forces Aaron into the back room - because lest we forget, Aaron locked him in a warehouse and stole his car. Cain punches Aaron, who refuses to back down - he tells Cain that he won’t let him hurt Robert - that Cain doesn’t need to, because Aaron has something on Robert far, far greater than anything Rob could possibly have on Cain.

He’s not wrong.

ANYWAY IT’S ALL ICONIC AND AARON IS CRYING AND LIKE YEP ROBERT WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR…. AND IT WAS WITH… M E.

The next day, Cain confronts Robert because of course he does. Rather than immediately label Robert as ‘gay’, True Ally Cain Dingle says that Robert bats for both teams, which I appreciate.

Poor Robert appreciates it… less. 

On the one hand, poor Robert keeps getting outed, which sucks. On the other hand… k a r m a.

BUT NO NO NO I JOKE BUT I GENUINELY FEEL BAD FOR ROBERT IN THIS CASE OK I REALLY GOD DAMN DO

He immediately goes to confront Aaron, absolutely furious that Aaron outed him and they have… such an honest conversation it’s actually REALLY FUCKIN TRIPPY.

Rob says “do you have any idea how scared I was yesterday?” and my heart starts the hurting train that it ain’t gonna get off for the rest of the scene. AND THENNNN ROB, HURTING AND ANGRY, MAKES A DIG ABOUT AARON EUTHANISING JACKSON AND AARON UNDERSTANDABLY SHOVES THE LITTLE FUCK AGAINST THE DOOR.

God bless the wall shoves. 

Rob is all THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO PPL YOU LOVE - which, no rob aaron literally had nothing to do with cain kidnapping you - but again, Robert is angry and upset. He doesn’t understand that  Aaron outed him more out of desperation more than anything else - because it was the only way he could ensure Cain wouldn’t go find Robert and finish the job. He literally says that he wanted to save Robert because of how he ~~~FELT~~~~ (luv that past tense mmhmm) about Robert.

What Aaron doesn’t understand, can’t understand, is that Robert is afraid that Cain is as heartless as Robert is. Rob knows that if the situation were reversed, he’d milk the knowledge of Cain’s sexuality for all it was worth (see: how he treated Lawrence). He’s terrified that Cain is going to use it against him - that it will all eventually come out and Robert will “have to choose”.

Oh Rob. Oh babe.

Oh and then he calls Aaron pathetic again and says ~~you’ll be sorry~~~.

Over the next couple of days, Rob spends a bunch of time trying to get Aaron to “talk about the scrapyard accounts” with him for probably no reason other than being annoyed at him. Cain is loving his life and making Robert just randomly pay for stuff for him to wind him up. Also, Larry is starting this whole scheme to invest in local businesses for the tax break.

Aaron spends all this time preoccupied by this mess he’s caused for Robert and tries his best to help. Aaron ends up telling Cain to leave Robert alone. Cain reassures him that he’s not going to do anything, but that Aaron should leave Robert alone as well. AS WE ALL KNOW, WHENEVER ANYONE TELLS AARON TO STAY AWAY FROM ROBERT, AARON DOES THE EXACT OPPOSITE. Aaron ends up getting HELLA PISSED OFF at Cain and…

Look, we’ve seen this before. We all know how this ends.

Cain takes one last trip to see Robert, all GIVE ME 17 GRAND AND STAY AWAY FROM AARON FOREVER AND I WILL LEAVE U ALONE. Robert… does neither. He does buy Moira a new grain pit though.

Ah. The grain pit.

 

  
**Honourable Mention #16: 7th - 8th July 2015**

So. Moira needs help at the farm. Robert volunteers to help Andy out for reasons. In unrelated news, Aaron is also helping Andy out. 

Andy can’t quite believe it, because Robert never does manual labour. What Andy does not yet realise is that Robert doesn’t do manual labour unless Aaron is involved (and even then it’s touch and go). THEY HAVE A WHOLE CONVERSATION AND ROB TALKS ABOUT HOW HE NEVER WANTED TO BE A FARMER AND MENTIONS JACK AND u just gotta love a casual Jack Sugden shoutout.

ANYWAY ANDY GETS ROB SOME OVERALLS AND AARON IS LIKE UH ARE YOU SURE WE NEED TO INVOLVE HIM AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL AND FILLED WITH SEXUAL TENSION AND I CRY

AND THEN THEY HAVE A BUNCH OF SCENES WHERE THEY STAND REAL CLOSE TO EACH OTHER AND STARE INTO EACH OTHERS EYES WHILE THEY TALK ABOUT FARMING

AND THEN OK OK OK SO THEY FINISH UP THE DAY - ANDY, ROB AND AARON - AND ANDY IS ALL “LADS! LADS! LADS! CHEEKY PINT AND BANTS DOWN THE LOCAL AYYYYYY” AND ALSO LIKE “BLESS U ROB IM PROUD OF U FOR PROVING U CAN DO THE HARD GRAFT” AND AARON IS ALL “I SHALL BE HERE TOMORROW ALSO SO THAT I CAN SHOW ROBERT HOW IT’S DONE THIS ISN’T SEXUAL”

AND THEN ANDY LEAVES AND IT’S JUST ROB AND AARON AND AARON IS LIKE “IM GONNA GIVE THESE DRINKS A MISS” AND ROB IS LIKE “BC CHAS WILL ASK QUESTIONS”

AND AARON JUST SAYS “I DON’T NEED THE HASSLE”

NOT: NO I CAN’T STAND U AND HOPE U DIE

NOT: I WOULD RATHER FEED MYSELF TO SHARKS THAN SPEND ONE MOMENT OF MY FREE TIME CHILLING WITH YOU

JUST: MY MUM WILL GET SUSPICIOUS BC WE HAVE THIS HILARIOUS HABIT OF FALLING BACK INTO BED WITH EACH OTHER THE SECOND ONE OF US SMILES AT THE OTHER

NBD

AND THEN ROB IS LIKE :) GUESS IT BETTER STAY OUR LITTLE SECRET HMMMMM AND THEN HE LEAVES

AND AARON’S FACE

LIKE

THEY BOTH JUST

K N O W

SOMETHING IS GONNA HAPPEN

AARON KNOWS HE’S PLAYING WITH FIRE AND HE CAN’T STOP HIMSELF FROM DOING IT ANYWAY

BECAUSE HE’S FUCKIN IN LOVE WITH ROBERT AND ALSO IT’S BEEN A WHILE OK HE’S A GROWN MAN AND HE HAS NEEDS

GUYS I LOVE THIS STORYLINE SO MUCH

AND ALSO THEN AARON GOES HOME AND SPECIFICALLY DOESN’T MENTION THAT HE’S BEEN HANGING ABOUT WITH ROBERT 

CHAS FINDS OUT ANYWAY THO BC OF COURSE

Of course she does. She and Paddy have a worried little pow-wow and Paddy goes on Mission Abort Robron. He has a little chat with Aaron, who doesn’t want to hear the lecture and starts deflecting back onto Chas and Paddy. Again, because telling Aaron what to do always goes down like a pile of lead, it doesn’t work. The next day, Paddy, undeterred, decides to bunk off saving the lives of dying animals and instead vows to follow Aaron and Robert around and watch their every move, in an attempt to keep them from doing the nasty.

CASE IN POINT, Aaron is chilling in Moira’s kitchen, probs playing a game on his phone. Rob walks in and takes his Rolex off. Aaron is all “how do u know someone isn’t gonna nick it” and Rob is all “dw babe I TRUST U (also it’s insured)” and then Paddy just BURSTS IN LIKE THE LEAST SUBTLE MOST AWKWARD INTERLOPER SINCE TIME BEGAN.

Aaron and Rob know what he’s doing immediately, but then Andy walks in and is, in true Andy style, entirely oblivious to anything else that might be going down. Paddy is all AARON IS GONNA HELP ME OUT FOR A BIT BECAUSE AARON’S GOOD WITH DUMB ANIMALS, THERE’S A BIT OF AN ATTRACTION.

SICK FUCKIN BURN PADDY, TAKE THAT ROBBO YOU SUCKA.

(Aaron doesn’t find it quite so funny bc he doesn’t like being told what to do and also because only he can insult the love of his life thx v much Padders)

ANYWAY PADDY IS ALREADY FAILING HIS ANTI ROBRON CAMPAIGN BECAUSE HE LEAVES THEM ALONE AND

LIKE

THEY’RE ALREADY TALKING IN “US” AND “WE” TERMS OK IT’S A DONE DEAL THEY’RE FUCKIN BOYFRIENDS AGAIN WELCOME TO THE NEW REALITY

Rob is all “What’s his deal?” and Aaron is like “he doesn’t trust us” and Robert just SMILES and says “we’re too old for babysitters aren’t we?” and look IS IT JUST ME OR IS EVERY SCENE IN THIS STORYLINE THE MOST SEXUALLY CHARGED SCENE YOU’VE EVER WATCHED

THEY JUST

KEEP STARING AT EACH OTHER

KNOWING THAT SOONER OR LATER (SOONER) THEY’RE GONNA HAVE MORE MINDBLOWING SEX AND IT’S ALL GONNA BE GREAT

ALSO SIDE NOTE, ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE VILLAGE DIANE HAS A QUICK RANDOM CHAT WITH LARRY AND CHRISSIE ABOUT ROBERT AND DIANE SAYS THAT ROBERT IS “A GOOD KID” AS LONG AS HE’S GOT SOMETHING TO OCCUPY HIMSELF AND THAT WHEN HE’S BORED, THAT’S WHEN HE’S TROUBLE

WHICH IS SOMETHING I ALWAYS MAINTAIN IS TRUE - ROBERT NEEDS SOMETHING TO DISTRACT HIMSELF AND IF HE DOESN’T HAVE THAT, HE WILL FIND SOMETHING AND THAT SOMETHING IS USUALLY SOMETHING STUPID AND/OR RISKY

A BORED ROBERT IS NO ONE’S FRIEND

(unless there’s someone around he can be romantic with u know)

Anyways.

Robert and Aaron low key flirt in front of Paddy and Paddy is like OK BUT WHAT IF U STAY AWAY FROM HIM and Aaron is all THERE’S NOTHING GOING ON IT’S FINE

And literally in the next scene they’re sitting next to each other, drinking tinnies. Paddy walks up just as Rob is all OK WHAT IF WE GO GET A DRINK AY and Aaron takes one look at Paddy and makes the instant decision that he is a GROWN UP WHO CAN DO WHAT THE HELL HE LIKES (v mature, our aaron). Aaron looks at Rob and is like SO IT’S JUST ME AND YOU THEN! LETS GO TO THE SCRAPYARD AND GRAB A DRINK and they walk away, completely point blank ignoring Paddy’s panicked calls after them.

As they walk away, Aaron says that he and Adam keep a couple of cans in the scrapyard fridge for “special occassions”. Rob is like “…u reckon this qualifies?” and Aaron says THAT’S UP TO YOU and just sort of stares at Rob because WHAT KIND OF ABSURD SEX CODE DO THEY HAVE

As they’re walking up to the portacabin, they’re chatting and whatever and acting normal - until the door closes and they’re officially completely alone. Rob leans back against the door and puts his soft voice on and asks Aaron why they’re hiding away. Aaron basically says that everyone not named Robert Jacob Sugden is currently getting on his last nerve and they have some smiley soft flirty banter about Paddy’s stalking adventures.

Rob asks if Paddy is worried about them and Aaron is like “He reckons you and me are gonna get it back on” and Rob smiles and says “Yeah?” and Aaron says “Yeah” and then AARON JUST GOES RIGHT IN FOR IT AND THEY’RE MAKING OUT AND AARON TAKES ROBERT’S SHIRT OFF IMMEDIATELY BC THAT IS ALWAYS WHAT AARON DOES AND

HAPPY SIGH

FINALLY

PORTACABIN SEX.

Paddy, praise the lord, somehow took the scenic route back to the scrapyard and so only turns up after they’ve already done the dirty. Paddy waits outside and Robert promises to call Aaron, before telling Paddy not to give Aaron a hard time, because “he doesn’t deserve it” because it’s LOVE.

Ah. Savour this moment guys. Savour this beautiful feeling, because this is sort of… where the happiness ends… for a while. Um.

Yeah.

 

**18\. 22nd July 2015 - 23rd July 2015**

SO PADDY IS NOT THAT HAPPY ABOUT THE ROBRON SEX. AS IT TURNS OUT.

IN FACT, HE’S SO MAD THAT HE SENDS CHRISSIE A WEIRD HANDWRITTEN NOTE THAT SAYS “REIN YOUR CHEATING HUSBAND IN”. THE ‘I’S HAVE CUTE LITTLE BUBBLES. IT’S ICONIC.

Rob doesn’t take too kindly to this, when he finds out, and decides to scare Paddy out of his hair, by almost DROWNING HIM IN THE NEW GRAIN PIT.

First he confronts Aaron about the note, which he obviously has no idea about. Aaron instantly knows that Paddy is responsible and tells Robert to leave it. If only Rob had listened, ey? Ah, what could have been…

Aaron confronts Paddy, who talks about all the shit Aaron has put himself through, all the ways his relationship with Robert messed with his head and it’s just great and sad. As Aaron walks away, Robert, who is just randomly sitting outside on a bench, sees them and suddenly, he knows exactly who wrote the letter. Rob gets all threatening and Paddy is actually not scared of him in the slightest, just threatens to tell Chrissie again. In beautifully convenient timing, Lawrence has just made Robert Company Director of Home Farm Estates and has also stuck him in the will.

(Bless I don’t think he lasted in there for very long)

ANYWAY all of a sudden Rob’s wildest dreams have come through, so naturally he decides that more important that anything in the world is to protect said dreams. So he tries to drown Paddy in the grain pit.

It’s a whole thing.

He listens to Paddy yell and scream for a bit and then walks away. We find out that Marlon and Paddy are supposed to be going to a Banjo Festival in Skipton, because of course, and Aaron is grumpy and annoyed about Paddy.

Turns out that while Paddy has been knocked unconscious and drowning, Rob has been hiding behind a tree. He goes to check on his victim and finds out that actually things are slightly more life threateningly serious than he anticipated.

Rob goes to take off his jacket, presumably to dive in and save Paddy and not because he’s feeling slightly warm, but then Andy comes back and he has to leg it over a fence. Andy calls an ambulance and then calls Marlon, who tells Aaron and Chas and Aaron fully flips out and basically runs to the hospital to go be with him.

Rob is back at Home Farm and freaking out himself. He calls Aaron, to make sure that Paddy is alive and he hasn’t committed one more murder, I assume. Aaron fills Rob in and cries and Rob looks deeply unsettled while trying to act shocked and concerned.

Rob goes to visit Paddy on behalf of Home Farm and uses the opportunity to threaten Paddy, Rhona and Leo. YES. A TINY CHILD. Mostly he just walks around looking like a DERANGED PERSON. He’s all DONT TELL CHRISSIE OR AARON ANYTHING OR I’LL MURDER EVERYTHING U LOVE. 

Completely reasonable. Sure.

Paddy is understandably uncomfortable with Aaron staying in a relationship with this PERSON WHO IS CLEARLY A PSYCHOPATH but has no idea how to warn Aaron off, especially when Aaron is in such a Robert-positive place.

At the same time as all this is happening, Larry’s Local Business competition is back in action and Robert finds a sneaky way to basically ensure that Aaron and Adam win, because he likes to do nice things for his boyfriend, when he’s not trying to murder his dad or godson.

Lawrence announces the winner of the contest in the Woolie, because where else in the village of Emmerdale, honestly? Holey Scrap wins, Larry gives Aaron a massive cheque and Robert looks all proud and happy. If you ignore the context, it’s beautiful.

Rob tells Aaron that he had nothing to do with the whole scheme - Rob is basically lying every time he opens his mouth at this point - and tells him to not blow this massive opportunity that’s just landed in his lap.

Aaron goes up to Home Farm for a meeting with Robert and Lawrence and Rob and Aaron smile at each other a bit and then Rob manages to talk his way into a trip up to a convention with Aaron, where they’re going to be staying in the middle of nowhere.

In a lodge.

Paddy overhears this, because he’s checking up on Dog, who is ill. A WHOLE BUNCH OF WHATEVER HAPPENS - ROB AND PADDY HAVE SCENES WHERE ROB THREATENS PADDY SOME MORE, ACTS SMUG AND PADDY MANAGES TO FUCK OVER AARON’S CONVENTION PLANS WITH THE SHEER NEED TO KEEP AARON AWAY FROM ROB BLAH BLAH LET’S SKIP TO THE DIRT

PADDY FINALLY TELLS AARON THAT ROBERT WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE GRAIN PIT, AFTER PADDY FAKES A BREAK DOWN ON THE LAY-BY (THE CRUELEST OF FUCKIN IRONIES RIGHT THERE - BREAKING ROBRON UP IN THE SAME PLACE IT STARTED). IT’S ALL JUST… SAD AND PAINFUL AND AARON’S FACE HURTS MY VERY SOUL.

Aaron tries to explain away Rob’s feelings, says “he wouldn’t do that” and means “he wouldn’t do that to me” and is just generally highly #relatable. It’s so sad. They have a conversation about not knowing what Robert is capable of. Aaron promises to stay away from Robert.

Again, never believe Aaron when he says that. Never.

It turns out, Aaron literally goes home and immediately calls Robert who comes running. They firm up their plan to go to their private lodge for a few days, because Aaron wants to get back at Robert by setting him up.

Sooooo, they go to the Lodge and Aaron tries to act all happy to be there, even while he’s dying a slow death on the inside. Robert tries to seduce him by talking about cars and Aaron starts recording their conversation and tries to find a way to get Robert to admit that he killed Katie.

Admittedly, this type of subterfuge… really is not his strongest skill.

It doesn’t work out all that well.

In fact, Aaron gives up the front almost immediately and just flat out says YOU TRIED TO KILL PADDY. Robert is like “Of course not! I would never hurt you or anyone close to you”, which I’m sure we all like to think about Robert, but he’s proven time and time over that that… hasn’t always been true. Case in point. Aaron calls him out on everything, keeps pushing him and pushing him - something Aaron is actually very good at when it comes to Robert - something that Aaron uses over and over again to worm the truth out of Robert. 

Ultimately, Robert cracks and admits it out loud, says he only meant to scare Paddy but it went too far. Aaron’s face morphs completely as the very real shock of it hits him - any tiny shred of hope he might have had that Robert didn’t actually try to kill his surrogate father is dead and buried. Sad.

Aaron is all “I thought I knew you” and he’s crying and then he brings up Katie, keeps egging Robert on, until Robert cracks  _ again  _ and finally admits that he pushed her. He pushed her and she died.

Aaron attacks Robert, Robert hits back and ends up knocking Aaron unconscious. He realises quickly that Aaron has recorded their whole incriminating conversation and then, because Rob clearly does not understand the cloud, smashes Aaron’s phone into pieces.

He ties Aaron to a radiator and apparently just sort of… sits there and stares at him until Aaron wakes up again. As soon as Aaron opens his eyes, Rob says “You did this” to him and scrambles up, to go back home, leaving Aaron to a likely cold and uncomfortable night on the floor.

Rob comes back the next morning with some water for Aaron. He removes the gag so that he can speak to Aaron properly and Aaron just glares at him and Rob is all HEY STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT :( and I DIE because HE’S NOT EXACTLY GOING TO BE HAPPY TO SEE YOU RIGHT NOW ROBERT, YOU ABSOLUTE NUTTER.

Aaron goes on to talk about how terrible Robert is and Robert looks downright heartbroken about it and  honestly HONESTLY ROBERT HAVE A LITTLE PERSPECTIVE SON YOU HAVE HIM TIED TO A RADIATOR AND BLEEDING

Aaron accuses Rob of killing Katie because he couldn’t handle ~being gay~ which Robert tells Aaron is a massive misunderstanding bc first of all he is NOT gay and second of all actUALLY IT’S ABOUT MONEY AARON SMHHH

AND THEN YOU HAVE THE FIRST BIG ICONIC LINE

Because Robert is a god damn wild MESS in these episodes, absolutely just running round in a constant state of broken panic, with too many feelings and not enough ways to deal with them and on the verge of doing about 15 different terrible things and I make a lot of jokes about how ABSURD he is but it’s SUCH GOOD CHARACTER WORK FOR HIM LIKE IT IS FASCINATING

AND FOR AARON TOO, THESE EPISODES REALLY SHOW THE RELENTLESS PIT BULL SIDE OF HIM - THE SIDE THAT REALLY KNOWS HOW TO WIND ROBERT UP, KNOWS HOW TO GET ROBERT TO OPEN UP, FOR BETTER OR WORSE

IT’S JUST ALL SO GOOD

SO anyway Aaron is like “so money is all you care about?” and Robert looks dead into Aaron’s eyes and says “I  _ wish _ that was all I cared about” and FUCK IT I’M JUST GONNA QUOTE THIS BITCH

Rob: Don’t you see? It’s you. You’re the worst mistake I’ve ever made. Falling in love with you ruined everything.

WHICH IS ACCURATE BECAUSE YOU KNOW

ROB HAD ALL THESE SELF-SERVING PLANS FOR HIS LIFE AND AARON CAME ALONG AND BLEW THEM ALL APART PURELY BY BEING SOMETHING ROB LOVED MORE THAN EVERYTHING ELSE.

ANYWAY THENNN Robert goes on to say that finding Katie’s body, Andy’s resultant breakdown and what Robert is doing now is alllll Aaron’s fault, because Aaron drove Robert to this.

Which is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. But then, this is Robert. At this point in his life, self-awareness was very much not his strong suit.

Anyway, Aaron agrees that those things sound much more like they are Robert’s fault. Rob immediately gets offended that Aaron doesn’t seem very sympathetic to his plight and then he utters my FAVOURITE ROBERT LINE OF ALL TIME BC I HAVE ISSUES.

Rob: Do you really think I’m that selfish, that psychotic that I would actually kill someone?

[PAUSE]

Aaron: ...Yeah. 

Rob: ...Let’s find out shall we.

AND THEN AARON’S FACE DROPS IN CONFUSION AND FEAR BC HE ACTUALLY VERY MUCH DID NOT THINK THAT THIS WAS THE DIRECTION THE CONVERSATION WAS GOING TO GO IN.

BUT NOPE. THAT’S IT. ROBBO’S LOST THE PLOT.

SO Rob gets up and leaves and returns??? With???? A gun????????????????????? Sure?????

Rob talks about his feelings about Katie and Andy and about how he’s not a killer, how he never wanted things get that far. Aaron calls out Robert - asks him if it wasn’t just the tiniest bit lucky that Katie fell and broke her neck and I THINK ABOUT THIS ALL THE TIME YO.

AND I THINK ROB DOES TOO BECAUSE FUCK IF HE HAD ANY SORT OF PLAN THERE. He was just shoving her, just wanted to get her phone and somehow convince her to be quiet. But how far would he really have gone???

And really - really that’s what the lodge is about. Seeing how far Robert would actually go.

Robert cries, feels completely stuck. IN THE CHOICE BETWEEN MURDERING AARON AND LOSING EVERYTHING, WHAT IS A BOY TO DO HMMM.

AND THEN!!! AARON IS LIKE TBH JUST KILL ME M8. JUST DO IT. because again, Aaron only knows how to egg Robert into working out what his feelings are. AND THEN ROBERT SAYS “IF YOU LOVED ME YOU WOULDN’T PUT ME IN THIS POSITION” BC AGAIN ROB HAS NO IDEA HOW TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THINGS 

(he’s getting better at this)

(sort of)

(when you’re at rock bottom the only way really is up)

Aaron, again, sees how idiotic Robert is being and also wants to cause Rob some more pain bc he’S STILL TIED TO A FRICKING RADIATOR so he’s like “of course i don’t love u rob u disgust me and i wish i’d never met you”, which prompts rob to pick the gun back up and point it right the fuck in Aaron’s face

AND THEN ROB IS KNEELING THERE POINTING A GUN AT AARON AND CRYING AND SAYING “I MEANT IT, I LOVED YOU” AND IT’S SO! FUCKED! UP!

And that's when Paddy walks in and Robert, freaking out, instinctively turns around and shoots the poor bastard.

Aaron and Robert both freak out at the fact that Paddy is bleeding out on the lodge floor. Aaron keeps winding Robert up because SURE WHY NOT and then Paddy is all AARON SHUT THE FUCK UP i need medical attention

And he gets Robert to stitch up his GSW, because Rob is understandably hesitant to take them all down to the A&E. So… Paddy talks Robert through cleaning and stitching a bullet wound. Aaron is still highly strung and geared to wind Robert up even more, which Paddy thinks is INSANE BEHAVIOUR because Robert is clearly a psycho.

Robert, a complete idiot but not  _ actually  _ a psycho, just someone who regularly gets himself WAY THE FUCK IN OVER HIS FUCKING HEAD through sheer short sighted and selfish behaviour, starts crying again, because he knows now that he can’t actually murder them both.

Paddy talks Robert down, gets Aaron to do the same, and eventually Robert just… lets them both go. Because what else can he do? Nothing, apparently. He lets them both go and goes home to Chrissie and clings onto her like a child because you know what, it has been a #day.

Aaron and Paddy drive back and talk about Katie. Paddy says “we don’t decide who we fall for” and UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE FUCKIN CENTURY PADDY THAT COULD BE THE AARON AND ROBERT MOTTO AT THIS POINT 

Aaron still wants revenge on Robert and Paddy says that you can’t win with people like Robert - you have to let them destroy themselves. That feels like… a very sharp perception of who Robert is and what will eventually happen to him, in all honesty.

Because Aaron is Aaron, he can’t quite leave it there. As his parting gift to Robert, the last thing he does before leaving him alone forever (or… if not for forever, then for a little while…), he makes his way up to Home Farm, breaks into the house and waits for Chrissie and Rob to find him.

The second Rob sees him, he looks like he’s going to be sick. Which. Is appropriate. Because Aaron launches into the entire story - the fact that he and Robert have been sleeping together all this time, that he has proof, that he can tell Chrissie when and where and what she was doing each time they were banging behind her back. 

HE FUCKIN SAYS “WHY DO YOU THINK HE WAS LATE FOR YOUR WEDDING CHRISSIE? BECAUSE HE WAS WITH ME.” and i die.

And then, finally, on his way out, Aaron looks at Robert and says “All that you’ve worked for is gone” and then he leaves like the true drama queen he was born to be.

Chrissie immediately starts screaming at Robert and tells him to leave - and hey would you look at this, it’s two break ups in one and Robert really is, ultimately, left with no one.

**How long did it last?**

God save our patient souls.

**Who came crawling back first?** They both did. But…. yeah, it was Robert. I mean… there’s understandably a whole issue of redeeming the dick first. Bless him. I’m still in shock about HOW GOOD his redemption arc ended up being. But… that’s for a later post.

**How little did they mean it?** 57/5. Like. The most a person can mean a break up. For a while, anyway. Until Robert finally changes his ways and his priorities and learns how to be more of a human and less of a mess. Sort of. For a bit. He tries.

 

* * *

 

 

**BONUS**

_ So, I wrote the first half of this post many moons ago. The danger with writing these posts in this way and then leaving them for months is that, when writing, I will often go off on tangents around present day Emmerdale that quickly become completely contextually irrelevant as both time and storylines progress. This happened with the next few paragraphs, wherein apparently I had some pent up anger to express. Again, it doesn’t make any sense to leave it in the post, but even though it’s an outdated rant, I’m adding it to the bottom of this post anyway, both for integrity, and for that Christina joke. _

 

**An excerpt from the OG Honourable Mention #13:**

Rob tries to act like he’s there to charm his sister’s whereabouts out of Aaron and let’s be real here, deep down he wants that shit to work. 

It doesn’t, because Aaron has been there, done that enough times to know better by this point

AND OK, WHEN PEOPLE CALL AARON A PUSHOVER OR WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY SAY I WOULD JUST LIKE TO DIRECT YOU TO THIS POINT IN TIME AND EVERY OTHER SINGLE POINT IN TIME WHERE HE HAD NO INTENTION OF GOING ANYWHERE N E A R ROBERT BECAUSE ROBERT HAD TREATED HIM HORRIBLY AND AARON DOES, CONTRARY TO APPARENTLY POPULAR BELIEF, HAVE THE STRENGTH TO WALK AWAY WHEN HE KNOWS HE NEEDS TO. HE’S NOT WITH ROBERT BECAUSE HE CAN’T FIND THE STRENGTH TO TRUST THE VOICE WITHIN AS XTINA WOULD SAY. AARON IS WITH ROBERT BECAUSE HE TRUSTS ROBERT’S INTENTIONS, AND HE KNOWS THAT ROBERT HAD WORKED DAMN HARD TO CHANGE HIS PANTO VILLAIN WAYS AND HE RESPECTS THAT!!! AND HE LOVES THE PERSON THAT ROBERT IS. BUT WHEN ROBERT CALLOUSLY TREATS HIM LIKE SHIT, AARON  _ DOESN’T TAKE IT _ . AARON HAS BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH WITH ROBERT BY NOW TO KNOW WHEN ROB IS BEING SINCERE AND TBH IT JUST.

IT MAKES ME MAD. BECAUSE AARON IS A CHARACTER WHO IS STRONG ENOUGH TO KNOW HIS OWN MIND AND HIS OWN HEART AND YES HE HAS HAD TO FORGIVE ROBERT OVER AND OVER, YES THAT IS A HUGE PART OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP BUT AARON KNOWS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ROB IN THOSE EARLY TERRIBLE DAYS OF 2015, WHEN HIS SORRYS MEANT NOTHING AT ALL, AND CURRENT DAY 2017 AND IT’S NOT WEAK FOR HIM TO UNDERSTAND THAT ROBERT HAS GROWN AND IS ACTUALLY SINCERE IN HIS APOLOGIES NOW AND TO WANT TO LISTEN TO AND ACCEPT THAT ANd I just don’t like when people imply that 2015 Robert and Aaron and 2017 Robert and Aaron are the same thing because it negates everything Aaron and Robert have been through and all of Robert’s character development and growth and everything Aaron has learnt and accepted and all the ways that Aaron has forced Robert to be better and look any forgiveness Aaron has given Robert at this point, Robert has done a lot to earn ok and sometimes people deserve forgiveness and uh this got off track.

...So Rob’s charm doesn’t work and Robert makes a swift escape, Vic’s phone safely in his pocket.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GOOD EVER LOVING GOD that’s it! The affair is blown and everyone knows… if not all of Robert’s secrets then at least one very big one. And so we move smoothly into the next era. Hopefully you enjoyed this long ass mess of a part. Sure, it only had one official break up in it, but it was a damn big break up.
> 
> Next up: Can you break up if you’re not actually together?


	5. Part Six: How to Get Away With Manslaughter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good No-Longer-Festive(-But-It-Was-When-I-Wrote-This) ‘Morrow, children, and welcome back to the series that will never end! It’s been a few months, because I kept forgetting that I am in fact the one responsible for writing this and thus need to actually… you know…. write it, in order for it to be updated. Utter insanity.
> 
> Anyways, Robert and Aaron are, as we left them, about to be broken up for a healthy 260 days - but as we know, that won’t stop them from essentially breaking up over and over again anyway and it certainly won’t stop me from honourable mention-ing the whole process. So, Aaron has broken up with Robert and outed him to Chrissie and Robert is single and absolutely not loving it and tbh, his life isn’t really going to improve all that much just yet.
> 
> We’ve actually reached a period that I don’t think I’ve ever rewatched even once so. This is gonna be fun. Bless u if you’re still reading this series. Love u all. Time for Robert Sugden’s life to turn to utter shit.
> 
> Warnings: Have you seen The Scrapyard Scene? I assume so, if you’re here. Anyway, that scenes in this part, alongside a laundry list of all the shit Robert cycles through, so just to be safe, warnings for mentions of: attempted suicide, self harm, scars. That Robert Sugden is a little bitch.

**Honourable Mention #17: 24th July - 27th July 2015**

So, here we are, in the aftermath of The Lodge. Paddy is once more checking up on Aaron just to reinforce that it is, in fact, hella over in robron land and Aaron… jesus fucking christ he dOESN’T EVEN SAY “YES IT’S DEFINITELY OVER OH AND BTW I TOTALLY TOLD HIS WIFE HE’S BEEN FOOLING AROUND THEREBY TRASHING HIS LIFE FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF TAKING BACK SOME OF THE CONTROL HE STRIPPED AWAY FROM ME”. HE LITERALLY JUST KIND OF LOOKS SAD.

Nutter.

Anyways, Robbo is meanwhile staying at Vic’s, where Andy also happens to be living, so it’s a beautiful Sugden sibling life for them, only Robert is miserable. Andy is all “I’m sure Chrissie will take u back Rob, just go talk to her” and Rob, looking hella scruffy and defeated, is like “no bruv there’s no point”, to which Andy is like “Robert Sugden, Man of Action, not going after something he wants? Fake news” and Robert is likE “YEAH WELL THERE’S A LOT YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT ME ANDY”, HELPFULLY ALLUDING TO THE FACT THAT HE LIKES TO TOUCH THE NAUGHTY PARTS OF MORE THAN ONE GENDER AND IS STILL (FOR THE MOMENT) IN THE CLOSET.

SPEAKING OF THINGS THAT WON’T LAST VERY LONG, Andy is still both very grateful to Robert for how supportive he was in the wake of Katie’s death and quite happily on good terms with Robert, so he’s all nice and supportive and it’s nice to watch. In fact, as we later find out, Robert is staying with Vic, Andy and Adam at Andy’s invitation (which, unsurprisingly, Adam isn’t the most happy with, given that it was only in Part 5 that Robert was running around threatening to kill him. Awkward.)  

SO, TO SUMMARISE, Aaron is sitting around looking sad and Robert is just wandering around the village looking like a fucking mess™. Oh, and Chrissie is understandably angry af and out for her cheating husband’s blood. Everyone keeps trying to ask all three of them what’s happening and not one of them is ready to spill the beans - until, in a beautiful confluence of fate, Diane drags Robert to the pub to talk about his heartache, at the same time as Aaron meets up Adam in said pub to catch up about his baby Johnny drama and Aaron and Robert have this INSANE SILENT CONVERSATION ACROSS THE BAR WHERE THEY JUST SORT OF GLARE DAGGERS AT EACH OTHER.

CHAS COMES OUT, SEES ROB LOOKING LIKE A MESS™ (as he and diane go into the back room, handily missing everything that’s about to occur) AND IS ALL “WONDER WHAT THAT PIECE OF SHIT HAS DONE WRONG NOW EH” (bearing in mind she doesn’t even know about Katie or the grain pit or the lodge yet) AND ADAM IS LIKE “LOLZZZZ CHRISSIE KICKED HIM OUT” AND AARON IS SAYING NUTHIN AT ALL, BUT CHAS IS (SILENTLY AND WITH HER EYES) IMMEDIATELY LIKE “MY SON, WHAT THE GOOD FUCK DID YOU DO” and it’s great i just love this entire nonsense soapy sequence it’s g r e a t.

There’s a whole scene where Adam finds out about Aaron winning the Larry’s Local Business award, which comes with a prize of 5 grand, and Kerry is all “well, everyone knows Robert invested 10k into the scrapyard so Larry is just keeping it in the family” BECAUSE IT’S IMPORTANT THAT WE REMEMBER THAT EVERYONE DOES IN FACT KNOW THIS DETAIL AND HASN’T ONCE QUESTIONED IT, BEFORE WE GET TO THE NEXT PART OF THIS SEQUENCE OF SCENES

AND OH BOY ARE THESE HETEROSEXUALS ABOUT TO LOOK DAMN. FOOLISH.

SO. YES. JUST IN TIME, IN WALKS CHRISSIE SUGDEN, NEE WHITE, WITH A GOD DAMN FACE OF THUNDER. VICTORIA, WHO - HANDILY - IS WORKING TODAY IS ALL “ROB’S IN THE BACK IF UR LOOKING FOR HIM GIRL, TIME TO SORT IT OUT WITH HIM YEAH? HE’S SO UPSET :(” AND CHRISSIE IS LIKE “OH! HOW VERY COSY! HOW NICE!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU ACTUALLY TELLING ME. TO MY VERY OWN EARS. THAT ROBERT. R O B E R T . IS THE UPSET ONE??????????????????????????? ROBERT??????? ROBERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA G R E A T JOKE VICTORIA, HOLD MY FUCKING BEER”

(OH AND BTW AARON IS LITERALLY STANDING BEHIND VICTORIA WITH THE MOST AWKWARD LOOK ON HIS FACE AND IT’S FUCKING HILARIOUS

DONT’ SLEEP WITH OTHER PEOPLE’S HUSBANDS AND YOU WON’T NEED TO DEAL WITH THIS AWKWARDNESS AGAIN AARON, YOU LITTLE PISSPOT.)

YEAH SO CHRISSIE IS ANGRY AND I’M STILL TYPING IN CAPS BECAUSE I AM BOTH HOPPED UP ON DIET COKE AND EXCITED.

ALSO PADDY WALKS IN AT THIS TIME, BECAUSE HE HAS BEAUTIFUL DRAMATIC TIMING.

LET ME JUST TRANSCRIBE THIS NEXT SERIES OF EVENTS FOR YOU:

ADAM IS LIKE “DON’T HAVE A GO AT MY WIFE YEAH CHRISSIE, IT’S NOT HER FAULT HER BROTHER CAN BE A DICK”

AND CHRISSIE SAYS “OH NO. I KNOW WHO IS TO BLAME. I K N O W (now).” AND THEN SHE LOOKS STRAIGHT AT AARON, DEATH IN HER EYEBALLS AND SCREAMS “ARE! YOU! HAPPY! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

(she legit screams this like damn chrissie so much for keeping ur shit quiet eh)

ROBERT COMES RUNNING BACK OUT INTO THE PUB BECAUSE YK, THEY COULD HEAR HER YELLING FROM SPACE, LOOKING PANICKED BECAUSE HE KNOWS SHE’S ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING HE DOESN’T WANT HER TO.

LIKE. HE KNOWS SHE’S ABOUT TO OUT HIM.

Aaaaaaand so she does.

SHE IS ALL LIKE “YOU’VE BEEN BANGING A DUDE” AND VIC AND DIANE ARE LIKE “....pls repeat” AND CHRISSIE IS LIKE OH AND BTW IT’S AARON XOXO AND CHAS IS LIKE “I THOUGHT IT WAS OVER GOD DAMN IT!!!!”

(which, no u didn’t chas, u literally sent paddy after them in part 5 girl keep up)

AND AARON, BEING THE DRAMATIC BINCH HE IS, IS LIKE “IT IS NOW.” AND WALKS OUT.

BACK IN THE PUB, EVERYONE IS CONFUSED AND CHRISSIE IS STILL UPSET AND SCREAMING AND THERE ARE LITERALLY JUST SOME PEOPLE IN THE BACKGROUND!!! JUST HAVING THEIR DINNER!!!!! JUST FUCKIN CHILLING OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEY’RE NOT EVEN LOOKING OVER AT THIS CRAZY SOUNDING WOMAN YELLING ABOUT A GAY AFFAIR it kills me every time oh my god

Anyway, Rob walks off into the backroom and Chrissie and Diane follow him.  Chrissie accuses Robert of being in love with Aaron god bless. Rob is crying and all “No, I love you. Aaron was nothing. Everything was a mistake etc etc etc.”

And. Ok. So Robert has this way of apologising where he will sort of… like, he’ll own up to stuff (usually when he’s caught) but he will refuse to acknowledge how bad of an affect his actions have on other people. It’s incredible how consistent this is. Like. It happens every single time, pretty much…. Well, it’s kind of still happening, to some degree, isn’t it.

ANYWAY ROB IS LITERALLY LIKE “yk what chrissie you too have made mistakes like that one time u kissed cain and i so graciously forgave u” BECAUSE HE’S FUCKIN SHAMELESS AND CHRISSIE IS LIKE BITCH DONT EVEN!!!! WERE U JUST PRETENDING TO BE UPSET SO U COULD GO RUNNING BACK TO AARON???? HMMMMM and robbo is like NO!!!! Because aaron wasn’t actually talking to him at that time so

Rob is, by this point, begging Chrissie to take him back and Diane is watching this looking HELLA CONCERNED and Chrissie is like UH U HAD AN AFFAIR WITH A MAN TAKE UR RING BACK!!!! And then throws the ring and storms off.

A little later, Paddy confronts Aaron about his spur of the moment decision to out Robert to Chrissie. He’s all like “did Chrissie really deserve this?” and Aaron, classic Aaron, doesn’t really care.

Paddy doesn’t think Aaron should be STILL winding Robert up - his logic being that Robert couldn’t kill Aaron at the lodge but maybe this will tip him over the edge to actual murder (fortunately, no). Paddy and Aaron still decide to not say anything about Katie and Paddy honestly goes to town on Aaron because he’s still terrified of what Robert might do to Rhona and Leo and it’s all kind of sad, honestly.

Robert has taken himself back to Vic’s to talk to Andy, who assumes that Chrissie and Robert have had another convo. Rob is like YEAH I GUESS U COULD SAY THAT - SHE STORMED INTO THE PUB ALL GUN’S BLAZING~~~ AND I WANTED TO STOP HER BUT AARON WAS THERE

Andy immediately asks Robert why the h e l l Aaron being at the pub is significant in any way to Robert and Chrissie talking.

Oh, buddy.

Rob, knowing that Andy is gonna find out anyway thanks to Chrissie essentially outing him to the whole village, takes a deep breath and admits that he and Aaron have been sleeping together.

NOW, LISTEN, THIS SCENE COULD HAVE BEEN MOMENTOUS BC IT’S ROB COMING OUT TO ANDY AND IT’S MASSIVE AND ROB SAYS “DON’T HATE ME” AND MY HEART HURTS FOR HIM, HONESTLY

ONLY ANDY, ANDY STILL HAS THE MOST ONE TRACK MIND IN THE UNIVERSE, SO HIS REACTION TO THE NEWS THAT HIS BROTHER LIKES BOYS IS IN FACT “....so Katie was right about you having an affair”

And tbh that kind of blows any chance these boys might have had to have a cute moment around Robert coming out - and also basically destroys their blossoming friendship. See, Robert has also forgotten that he low-key spent all that time turning the entire village, including Andy, against Katie when she was the only one who suspected him of cheating and is responsible for the fact that Andy and Katie weren’t talking when she died.

Rob’s fact takes a WHOLE JOURNEY as Andy pieces together the fact that Rob set fire to the caravan (REMEMBER THAT!!!????) and Rob denies that one again, tries to apologise - but it’s all a bit too little, too late, so Andy grabs Robert and literally throws him out of the house. He yells that he wishes he’d killed Robert years ago when he had the chance and storms back inside and honestly… there have been better coming outs in history, really, haven’t there?

I wonder if there were villagers walking past who assumed Andy was just a massive homophobe?

ANYWAY, Rob hops off to stay at the B&B with his Auntie Val. Diane rocks up the next morning to yell at Rob a little. Val accuses her of homophobia and Diane, who has already been filled in on a number of Rob’s misdeeds by both Chas and Andy, is like HEY I’M NOT ANGRY BC HE LIKES DICK, I’M ANGRY BC HE IS A DICK

Look. I hate coming out. Hate it with a passion. Have yet to attempt it while sober. But I just think that if I ever again think to myself ‘oh boy, coming out is hard’, then I just need to remind myself that at least it won’t be overshadowed by all my loved ones hating me because they’ve found out about a SMALL FRACTION of my horrifying behaviour, u know?

Robert wants to sort things out with Diane, because she’s important to him and she gives him 5 minutes. Diane immediately wants to tackle The Gay Issue and asks why Robert would marry Chrissie when he couldn’t love her. Sweet Bisexual Robert is like EXCUSE ME I DO LOVE HER but Diane is confused bc she ain’t been educated enough yet. She brings it back by being like CHEATING!!! IS WRONG!!!!! BUT LOVING MEN IS NOT XOXO and Robert responds in much the same way we’ll see him respond…. A lot…. In the coming scenes. By yelling “I’M NOT GAY”, which is accurate and then talking about how much he wants to spend the rest of his life with Chrissie, which is not accurate at all.

Diane has already adapted to Rob’s as of yet unlabelled bisexuality bc she’s good like that, but she’s not about to give him any false hope and tells him that he probs shouldn’t have boned the local mechanic if he wanted to make his marriage work.

Yeah. Thanks Di.

A little later, Robert pops by Home Farm, presumably to pick up his stuff, and tries to apologise to Chrissie again by ONCE AGAIN COMPARING HIS MONTHS-LONG, EMOTIONALLY INTIMATE, PASSIONATE AFFAIR WITH AARON TO THAT ONE TIME CHRISSIE AND CAIN TOUCHED LIPS FOR 10 SECONDS AND LIKE

HE’S GOT SOME FUCKIN NERVE, DOESN’T HE

I love one (1) dickhead.

Chrissie also thinks this is insane and Rob’s response to that is YOU STILL BETRAYED ME AND THAT HURT BUT I STILL FORGAVE YOU. BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. Fuckin Rob.

Chrissie asks him to gtfo but Robert unsurprisingly selective hears his way around that  - instead he goes through his box of stuff that Chrissie has packed and realises that she’s including a bottle of probably very expensive whiskey that Robert gave her, promising that they would drink it on their tenth wedding anniversary. Robert is like THAT’S STILL POSSIBLE!!!! And Chrissie is like LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO SON and pours that shit down the sink.

She asks Robert if he loves Aaron, or if he ever loved Aaron and Robert, poor Robert who is still so fucking desperate to be in the closet that I can’t even hate him through any of this and I half wanna give him a little cuddle, Robert lies and says no. Chrissie says that she probably could have forgiven Robert if he’d cheated on her for love (spoiler alert: she couldn’t) but that she can’t believe he would throw them away for “nothing”. She asks Robert if there were other men and Rob’s face says that there were plenty of other men (and other women, what a lil horn dog) and she tells him to get out.

Robert goes back to the pub to find Diane and instead finds Aaron chilling in the backroom. Aaron tells Robert to “do one” (classic). Rob says that he would have left Aaron alone, that he didn’t need to tell Chrissie to keep Robert from hurting him - which, we all know. Again, the lodge was about how far Robert could go as well as how far Robert could bring himself to go towards Aaron specifically. Robert would have left Aaron to turn him into the police, if he’d wanted to - Rob would have found a way to slither out of it, I’m sure, but he would have let Aaron do it. I always think that was sort of the point - that ultimately, Aaron meant more to Robert than his own well-being. Aaron is the only thing that has ever knocked through all of Robert’s instincts of self-preservation. Yes, I’m still waxing lyrical about the lodge, so sue me, I love that fucked up piece of insane but hella problematically romantic storytelling I DON’T CARE IT’S PERFECT.

Anyways.

Aaron clarifies that it wasn’t about keeping himself safe - it was about ending things between them, once and for all and cutting all of Robert’s ties to the village, taking away any reason Robert might have had to stay.

Well jokes on u, Aaron. He’s gonna stick around anyway.

* * *

 

**Honourable Mention #18: 28th July - 13th August 2015**

Some more stuff happens involving a rent boy and a helicopter disaster. All very low-key. OH BUT THERE IS A STORYLINE ABOUT CHRISSIE THINKING THAT ROB IS GONNA EXPOSE HER KISS WITH CAIN, WHICH SHE DOESN’T WANT AND IT INVOLVES BOTH CAIN AND ROSS LAMPING ROBERT, MOIRA SMACKING CHRISSIE ROUND THE FACE AND CHRISSIE YELLING THE WORDS “THERE’S ONLY ONE PERSON IN MY MARRIAGE SLEEPING WITH ANOTHER MAN AND IT’S NOT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

FUCKIN ICONIC.

Also, at one point, Lachlan tells Robert to “get in the car, start it up, drive fast and have a crash”. #Awkward.

* * *

 

**Honourable Mention #19: 31st August - 3rd September 2015**

So it turns out that the Whites have sold Wylie’s Farm to some new farmers who apparently have been living in the village ever since? Interesting. Anyway, Andy’s sad because that was supposed to be his and Katie’s, so he’s having a sad-looking drink in the pub and talking sadly to Chas about it. He mentions again how much he wishes he’d believed Katie when she claimed Robert was having an affair, just as Aaron walks in and sits down. Aaron’s face gets all guilty - even more so when Andy starts questioning why Katie was up at Wylies the day she died.

(It’s because Aaron told her to go there, so he could expose Robert, just in case u forgot)

(That was many parts ago, I know)

Aaron chases after Andy to tell him to stop beating himself up because obviously Aaron has been there, done that with regards to Katie’s death. Turns out that Andy has been silently hating on Aaron since the day he found out about the affair and blames him… ok, nowhere near as much as Robert, but at least somewhat.

Which is fair, really, isn’t it.

Andy reads Aaron a new one and tells him he’ll never forgive either him or Robert and then leaves, leaving Aaron with a face full of tragedy.

This and Val’s funeral do make Andy finally decide to go through Katie’s stuff. Chas drops in a good word with him for Aaron (THE ONLY MISTAKE MY SON MADE WAS FALLING IN LOVE WITH UR BROTHER!!!!! bless) and then, coincidence of coincidences!!!! Andy goes home to… find Aaron there.

He’s filling out insurance paperwork for the scrapyard, given that Chrissie blew it up a few weeks ago (part of that helicopter crash la de da) and offers to leave, but Andy is like “nah m8, stick around for some beers”, because Aaron and Andy have always been friends and Andy has decided that lashing out at Aaron over Katie doesn’t make sense.

It’s cute.

ANYWAY, I’m describing all this admittedly not very eventful stuff because Andy finds Katie’s last phone bill and sees the last call she ever made.

I DUNNO IF U REMEMBER BUT THAT CALL WAS TO ONE AARON DINGLE, WHO GOT TOLD HER TO GO TO WILEYS SO THAT SHE COULD WALK IN ON SOME HOT XXX ROBRON ACTION.

TURNS OUT THAT AARON AND ANDY AIN’T THAT MATEY BECAUSE ANDY DOESN’T REALISE, WHEN HE CALLS THE LAST NUMBER KATIE CALLED, THAT HE’S CALLING AARON.

DRAMA.

Aaron runs out of there panicking, because his phone has been vibrating in his pocket and thE LITERAL NEXT DAY, HE BUYS AN ENTIRE NEW PHONE WITH A NEW SIM CARD AND TELLS EVERYONE HE LOST HIS OLD ONE.

SUBTLE, BABE.

He also has a lil conversation with Andy about losing Jackson which is sweet, I guess.

OK, SO I WASN’T GONNA GO INTO CONNOR THE RENT BOY BECAUSE I HAVE A LOT OF GOD DAMN MATERIAL TO GET THROUGH IN THIS PART, BUT FUCK ME IF I’M GONNA LET A ROBRON SCENE SLIDE.

ROB’S RUNNING ROUND BARS WITH LAWRENCE LOOKING FOR CONNOR BLAH BLAH AND AT THE SAME TIME!!!! AARON INVITES HIS NEW BEST BUD ANDY OUT FOR A DRINK IN TOWN!! TO THE SAME! BAR! I KNOW CAN U FLIPPIN BELIEVE.

Andy gets a seat, not having spotted his wayward brother, but Aaron and Robert spot one another IMMEDIATELY with their secret love radar (and Rob quickly sends Larry away so he can Deal With The Situation). Aaron strolls up to Robert, giving him evil eyes and they’re both all like  _what are u doin here ho_  and Aaron is like _uh i’m having a drink with a mate u bitch_  and Rob is like  _yeah? what mate, u billy-no-mates?_  And Aaron is like _are u blind, can u not see ur brother sitting RIGHT THERE u fuckin sausage_ and Robert is like  _hahahhahaa u and my brother are NOT MATES u utter plink_  and I realise that I’m not making any of this sound sexy but trust me when I say that it is.

You just can’t feel the hatred-filled bedroom eyes from my writing u kno? But they’re there. They’re there.

ANYWAY Robert is all  _HE’S NOT UR MATE_  and Aaron is all  _go home Robert._  Rob calls Aaron out and says he’s only using Andy because he’s feeling guilty and he can’t handle it and then says that Aaron is playing a dangerous game and should stop before someone gets hurt.

And like. I don’t think he actually means it as a threat, really. Robert actually sounds slightly concerned.

Andy literally marches up to the bar next to Robert later and Robert says the same thing to Andy - “You know he’s just using you to ease his guilt”. Andy has more faith in Aaron’s good soul than he does Robert’s and doesn’t believe Rob (but the look on Aaron’s face says maybe Robert is slightly more on the money here).

Lawrence comes back and Andy goes to sit back with Aaron and Robert LITERALLY JUST GETS LOST STARING AT AARON AND ZONES OUT OF WHAT LAWRENCE IS SAYING FOR A MOMENT AND IT’S AMAZING HE’S IN LOVE.

Robert and Larry have to wait around at the bar and Andy and Aaron decide to relocate back to the Woolie. Aaron is doing his moody quiet thing and Andy tells him to not let Robert get to him.

It’s nice how they can bond over their complicated relationships with Robert now, isn’t it?

Rob’s two favourite guys!

Who both hate his guts (whilst still loving him)!

Aaron says it’s absolutely not Robert that’s got him all moody, he’s just “tired”. We’ve all heard that one before, babe. Anyway, he excuses himself to go and IMMEDIATELY PACK HIS BAGS SO THAT HE CAN FLEE THE VILLAGE FOR A BIT.

Bless him, he’s just surrounded by all of his mistakes, most of those mistakes beginning with “R” and ending with “obert Jacob Sugden”.

So, he leaves and Robert continues on with his rent-boy-ur-way-up-a-business plan.

* * *

 

**Honourable Mention #20: 15th September - 21st September 2015**

Robert mentions to Diane that Katie still doesn’t have a headstone and Diane tells him to not offer to pay for one, so obviously that’s the first thing Robert does. Andy goes off to Home Farm to confront Robert, but gets interrupted by a phone call from Debbie, who tells him that their daughter is in hospital. Andy’s panicking, so Robert offers to drive him.

It’s raining like crazy and they break down but god bless, Rob the mechanic is here to save the day and Robert and Andy bond and it’s just all very cute and warm and fuzzy and BASICALLY THIS WHOLE SEQUENCE OF EVENTS HELPS WARM ANDY TO ROBERT, WHICH IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR THE SHOW TO DO, GIVEN THAT THEY ARE ABOUT TO DESTROY THE ABSOLUTE SHIT OUT OF THEM.

AGAIN.

So anyways, this all leads to Andy allowing Robert to move back into Vic’s. A week later, Andy and Vic are having a little gossip session in her kitchen. Vic is all “Chrobert isnt gonna be thing anymore sigh” and Andy is like “uh yeah, cuz he’s gay”, which prompts Robert to just ENTER THROUGH THE DOORWAY PROCLAIMING THE WORDS “I’M NOT GAY” and it’s iconic.

Vic is like “We support u! Being gay is A-Ok!” and Rob is like “Yes, yes, I love the gays but I am not one of them”

He’s not lying, bless him.

Not yet, anyway.

So, anyways, Vic literally decides to TAKE THE DAY OFF WORK because she reckons she and Robert need to finally have a conversation about his sexuality and she wants to make sure he feels loved and supportive.

She starts off this wonderful dialogue about how she doesn’t put people in boxes, that Robert should be whoever he wants to be and be with whoever he wants to be with and that regardless of the gender of that person, she supports him.

Robert is not actually Here™ or Ready™ for this conversation and responds to this with the sentence, “Vic, how many times? I’m straight.”

Given that she has all this knowledge now of Robert’s penis touching another man in fun and exciting ways that he enjoyed enough to keep doing, Vic isn’t the  _most_  convinced by that statement, but Robert does! Not! Care! He is a straight man who just happened to fall into bed with another dude and u know what??? That just makes him open minded ok??? He just experiences a lack of homophobia!!!!!! That’s all it is!!!! He’s just so accepting of the gays that he’s happy to bone them daily, nightly and ever so rightly. He is a fuckin ally and a freedom fighter!!!!!

Robert Sugden: straight but not narrow.

Vic ignores Robert and says, very seriously, that she know it can’t be easy, “especially for the son of a farmer” and then starts talking about how Jack would have understood and been proud of Robert and Rob can barely even look at her, because he knows how Jack reacted  when he found out and it’s haunted him since he was a teenager. The only fuckin word Rob can get out to Vic is “don’t”, because he can’t talk about this and Jack with her and it’s all just

So sad.

Vic changes tact again and simply asks Robert to be honest with himself, because she just wants him to be with someone who he actually loves.

Rob still looks kind of haunted, but snaps himself out of it so that he can talk about how much he loves Chrissie. Victoria, quite fairly, asks why, if he had all this love for her, he cheated on her AND HE SAYS THE WEAKEST FLIPPIN LITTLE “IT WAS A MISTAKE”

MMHMM

AND THEN, LIKE

SHE’S LITERALLY LIKE

“WHAT WAS SO SPECIAL ABOUT AARON? DID YOU LOVE HIM?”

AND ROBERT FUCKIN SUGDEN JUST SITS THERE AND AFTER LIKE, THE PAUSE OF THE ETERNITY, STUMBLES HIS WAY THROUGH A DENIAL - WELL, ACTUALLY HE SAYS “NO - WHAT DOES IT MATTER ANYWAY? IT’S OVER” SO IT’S FUCKIN  _BARELY_  A DENIAL

OL’ VICTORIA DOESN’T GIVE UP THOUGH. SHE SAYS AGAIN THAT HE MUST HAVE BEEN REALLY IMPORTANT TO HIM, SO ROBERT SNAPS AND TELLS HER TO STOP IT. SHE FIGHTS BACK AND SAYS IT’S A SIMPLE QUESTION - “DID YOU LOVE HIM?”

AND ROBERT SAYS “NO, SHUT UP” IN A WAY THAT IS LITERALLY SO UNCONVINCING THAT VICTORIA JUST SITS THERE AND SAYS

“You did, didn’t you?”

He walks out of the room and doesn’t answer her.

And then he decides to move out of the village.

* * *

 

**Honourable Mention #21: 21st September - 25th September 2015**

SO. Rob’s told Vic he’s leaving and Vic is feeling very sad and also like she’s accidentally pushed him away. She tells Andy as much and he tells her that she’s probably going to be the only person who would miss him.

Vic, the OG Robron shipper, says that Aaron would miss him. Andy is like “no, no, Aaron hates him” and Vic is like “HE HATES HOW MUCH HE LOVE HIM!!! DEEP DOWN!!! I’M SURE OF IT!!!!!” and it’s so pure and real and, like, #mood.

She goes to call Aaron to find out but - hold on - she has two numbers for him. She asks Andy which one it is and reads out part of one that Andy…. recognises…. Yes oh yes baby, all those random scenes of Aaron and Andy hanging out were in fact leading somewhere because Andy has suddenly clued up to the fact that Aaron was the last person Katie called before she died and when Andy was literally talking about it, he never said a word. And then got a new phone the god damn next day.

Sus. As. Fuck.

Turns out that the very next day, Aaron gets back from his trip to London. He bumps into Robert, who mentions he’s leaving and Aaron pretends to not care about this news. Chas tries to get Aaron to say he won’t miss Robert and Aaron can’t actually say the words (but puts up a very good front bless).

Andy confronts Aaron, who can’t quite explain it but then ultimately says that the phone call was Katie saying she was leaving Andy and the village. Andy isn’t convinced and goes to talk to Robert, who is literally packing his car with his stuff, to fill him in.

Naturally, this information fucking horrifies Robert to his core.

Robert tries to talk Andy down, but Andy….

Well, Andy is trying to process the idea that his dead wife might have wanted to leave him before she died, so it’s not really that easy.

Sweet, simple Andy slowly talks his way into realising that Katie must have known about Robert and Aaron and then, beyond that, that Aaron wasn’t the one of them who needed to keep that covered up.

And then Andy asks if Robert killed Katie.

Robert acts like this is Absurd! But Andy won’t let it go and then literally starts to call the police. Robert, in a panic, knocks the phone out of Andy’s hand and they just stare at one another and THESE SCENES ARE AMAZING OK THEY’RE JUST AMAZING.

ROBERT SAYS “JUST… LISTEN.” AND ANDY SAYS “TELL ME YOU DIDN’T” AND ROBERT CAN’T EVEN LOOK AT HIM. ANDY ASKS ROBERT, OVER AND OVER AGAIN, IF HE KILLED HER, AND ROBERT DOESN’T RESPOND, CAN’T RESPOND, JUST SAYS THINGS LIKE “I NEED YOU TO TRUST ME SO I CAN TELL YOU THE TRUTH” AND “I LOVE YOU, YOU KNOW THAT”, BUT ANDY KEEPS ASKING AND ASKING UNTIL HE FUCKING YELLS IT AND ROBERT SAYS, “YES.”

PEAK FUCKIN DRAMA, LADDIES!!!!

Oh, as this is happening, Aaron also tells Chas everything. It’s just really not a great day for this secret.

Robert starts to explain and Andy is just crying and Robert is crying and Robert tells the truth, mostly very much the truth, explains that he pushed her, but that it was an accident.

And he just

Keeps talking

And then compares it to Andy killing their mum in the barn, at which point Andy tells him to stop talking.

Probs for the best. Read the room, Rob.

Andy jumps on Robert - asks him if this was about getting even with Andy because of what happened with Sarah. If that’s why Robert hates him so much. If that’s why Robert kept taking Katie away from Andy.

Andy then basically tells Robert to leave, before he loses his control and hurts Rob, but Robert refuses and tells Andy that they’re sorting this. Feels like such a weird thing to assume you can fix, doesn’t it? Killing your brothers wife. Oh, Robert.

ANYWAYS, they keep talking but Andy still doesn’t believe it was an accident. He asks if Aaron helped, but Robert immediately says Aaron had nothing to do with it (bc love). Andy says that Robert wants to believe it was an accident, but it wasn’t. Andy is just hella team murder, rather than team manslaughter, yk.

AND THEN ANDY IS LIKE “IF YOU SAY IT WAS AN ACCIDENT ONE MORE TIME”, SO OBVIOUSLY, ROBERT IMMEDIATELY SAYS “IT WAS AN ACCIDENT” BECAUSE HE’S A FUCKING DUMBASS.

SO ANDY GOES MENTAL AND STARTS BEATING HIM UP.

And then he gets up, leaves and drives off.

He drives off the police station, to dobb Robert in.

I just don’t know why Robert didn’t assume that would happen in the first place, honestly.

Diane and Vic find Robert sitting on the sofa, looking very bruised and very sad and Rob doesn’t want to talk about it so he walks out, but then! A police car comes by! And arrests Robert on suspicion of Katie’s murder in broad daylight! And Vic is all “ROBERT WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?”

Well, murder presumably, Vic..

Kerry rocks up into the pub and tells everyone that Robert’s been arrested for Katie’s murder. Aaron stands in the corner and looks like he’s about the pass out. He quickly works out that Andy must know and must have gone to the police.

Diane and Vic are left in disbelief. Andy strolls in like “yeah, it’s true. He told me.” All calm and collected, u know? Diane and Vic both react to this with an understandable amount of utter horror and like….

It’s a good thing they don’t know half of the shit he’s pulled really, isn’t it? Keep them innocent.

Robert gets questioned by the police and he weaves this fuckin BRILLIANT and also VERY ACCURATE narrative around how much Andy hates him for all the things he’s done and has therefore clearly made up the entire murder accusation. IT’S FUCKIN GENIUS. It’s so smooth. He tells the coppers about Andy’s mental instability, about all his motivations for revenge against Robert and, piece de resistance, drops in there that Andy’s just found out that he’s been having an affair with a man and that Andy is “a bloke’s bloke” who probably just can’t understand~~~

YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT. ROBERT USES HOMOPHOBIA TO GET OFF A FUCKIN MURDER CHARGE. #LGBTCULTURE

Honestly, it’s amazing. Robert has never been this amazing. It’s been two years and I’m still in awe.

Oh, and he drops in his a+ alibi of LITERALLY GETTING MARRIED around the time Katie’s death supposedly occurred.

Flipping Robert.

Aaron and Chas also have a bunch of scenes about Robert but they depress me so whatevs.

The police obviously let Robert go, after the god damn performance of the god damn century, and Andy spends some more time ranting at Diane and Vic, threatening to kill Robert.

Honestly, there’s a lot of Robert threatening going round right now. Chas is all about it.

Guess he better watch his back heh heh heh heh heh.

SPEAKING OF AWFUL JOKES, THE NEXT SCENE IS A SCENE THAT I HAVEN’T REWATCHED IN YEARS. ARE WE EXCITED? HOO BOY, I’M EXCITED. So exicted.

I’M JUST GONNA POWER ON THROUGH LET’S FUCKIN GO

ANYWAYS SO ROB GETS RELEASED FROM PRISON AND HIS FIRST STOP ON HIS VICTORY TOUR IS TO SEE AARON - HIS NO-LONGER-PARTNER IN CRIME. HE SAYS THAT HE KEPT AARON’S NAME OUT OF IT AND TOLD THE POLICE THEY’VE GOT IT WRONG.

AARON… FOR SOME REASON, CAN’T BELIEVE THAT ROBERT DENIED THE FLIPPING MURDER CHARGES AND IS OFFENDED BY ROB’S LACK OF DESIRE TO GO TO PRISON ON A LIFE SENTENCE

AARON TELLS ROBERT HE’S NOT GOING TO LIE FOR HIM ANYMORE AND ROB FEELS THAT THIS IS UNFAIR, GIVEN THAT HE’S JUST LIED TO THE POLICE FOR AARON. AARON QUITE RIGHTLY POINTS OUT THAT THIS WAS TO COVER ROBERT’S OWN BACK

AND THEN ROBERT, WHO IS HELLA OFFENDED BY THIS ACCUSATION, IS LIKE “NO! NO IT’S BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE WORTH PROTECTING” WOW I CAN’T BELIEVE HOW IN LOVE THEY ARE AND IT’S SO NICE THAT THE SCENE AND ALSO THE EPISODE ENDS HERE HUH?

SIGH

AARON DOESN’T LIKE THE IDEA OF ROB-THE-MURDERER PROTECTING HIM, BECAUSE ROBERT IS THE MURDERER. NOT AARON. ROB, IDIOT EXTRAORDINAIRE, GETS EVEN MORE OFFENDED AND SAYS THAT AARON WAS THE WHOLE REASON KATIE WAS EVEN AT THE FARM AND SO IS JUST AS GUILTY AS HE IS, WHICH AARON REFUSES TO BELIEVE. HE SAYS THAT ROBERT MURDERED HER BECAUSE HE’S GAY AND COULDN’T ADMIT IT - THAT HE WANTED TO KEEP HIS PERFECT TOYBOY LIFE WITH CHRISSIE.

AND YES, ROB CONTINUES TO LOOK PROGRESSIVELY MORE OFFENDED.

FINALLY, AARON GETS ONE LAST DIG IN - HE SAYS ROBERT IS A COWARD. AND THEN HE SAYS “YOU DISGUST ME”.

OUCH.

ROB TURNS TO WATCH AARON GO WITH A DANGEROUS LOOK ON HIS FACE AND LIKE...

SIGH

SO, WE COME BACK A LITTLE LATER AND ROB IS STILL HANGING AROUND THE SCRAPYARD AND AARON TELLS HIM TO GET LOST, BEFORE HE ~MAKES HIM~, TO WHICH ROBERT IS LIKE “UH, MY INVESTMENT, I CAN DO AS I PLEASE”. AARON IGNORES HIM AND ROBERT STARES AT HIS BACK AND JUST.

LET’S LOOSE.

SEE, ROBERT IS REALLY FUCKIN PISSED AT AARON FOR ALL THE MURDER ACCUSATIONS AND HATRED-Y FEELINGS AND SHIT, SO ROB DOES WHAT HE DOES BEST WHEN HE’S ANGRY - HE LASHES OUT. HE TELLS AARON THAT HE SHOULD HAVE DITCHED HIM AGES AGO AND THEN SAYS THAT

LMAO HOLD ONTO UR SIDES

HE SAYS HE HAD “ENOUGH OTHER LADS ON THE GO”

LOLOLOLOLOLOL ROBERT YOU COULD BARELY FUCKIN HANDLE AARON, LET ALONE A CABAL OF OTHER THIRSTY DUDES, IN WHAT FUCKIN WORLD

What a liar.

HE KEEPS WINDING AARON UP, GOADING HIM, STARTS IN ON HIS MENTAL HEALTH, HIS SELF HARM, HIS SCARS, CHAS ABANDONING HIM, HIS HISTORY WITH JACKSON, HIS SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, THE FUCKING…. ENTIRE LIST OF EVERYTHING ROBERT CAN THINK OF. AARON GETS ANGRY BUT HE’S ALSO FUCKIN UPSET AND IT’S HORRIBLE AND I HATE IT AND IT’S HORRIBLE AND THEN ROB LEAVES AND I NOPE ON BY ONCE MORE BC DAMN WHEN ROB GOES FOR THE JUGULAR HE GOES FOR THAT DAMN JUGULAR.

I’M GONNA NEED TO PUT WARNINGS ON THIS PART JUST FOR THIS FUCKING SCENE. THE CHEEK.

So anyway. There’s aftermath to this scene. Aaron is sad. He tells Paddy and Chas that Robert hasn’t been charged with murder and everyone is angry. Angry enough… to kill….? Maybe so (but no… no not really).

Diane and Victoria have to explain to Andy that Robert hasn’t been charged and Andy is… angry is an understatement. Robert chooses this exact time to rock up. Robert, continuing on his absolute work of art How To Get Away With  ~~Murder~~  Manslaughter tour, beautifully convinces Diane and Vic that he had absolutely nothing to do with Katie’s death by just gaslighting the hell out of Andy. No one wants to actually believe that Robert killed Katie, so they all pretty much trust Robert’s version of events immediately. Aaron, Chas and Paddy come in and - for the sake of keeping Aaron safe from recrimination, both Aaron and Chas back up Robert’s awful version of events.

Aaron is still all over the place from his earlier conversation with Robert and from knowing that his mum is so worked up about it that she tried to have Cain off him (yeah, Rob and Chas have both tried to take hits out on each other. Truly something to bond over.) that he’s not lying in any sort of convincing way, so Chas steps in and lies for Robert as well. Andy leaves, devastated, and Robert and Aaron stare intensely at one another for way too long (bc love).

There’s also lots of stuff going on about who has access to a gun. It’s probs not important.

* * *

 

**Honourable Mention #22: 25th September 2015**

So, Robert gets shot.

AND AARON HAS TO PUT PRESSURE ON HIS WOUND AND HE LOOKS LIKE HE’S FIVE SECONDS AWAY FROM FALLING APART AND IT’S GREAT.

THERE’S OTHER STUFF TOO BUT WHO THE FUCK CARES ROBRON ARE IN LOVE THE END XOXO

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s it! Sure, a lot of stuff happened, but at the end of the day I think the thing we can all take home from this is that Robert and Aaron are both a little upset, sure, but very clearly in love. The love couldn’t be more evident. Love is all around Robert and Aaron. It’s beautiful. That’s what this part is all about, really. The love.
> 
> Tune in next time for… yes, another part consisting entirely of Honourable Mentions, but LOOK HOW MUCH CLOSER WE ARE TO THE HAPPINESS!!!! So much closer. I love love.


	6. Part Seven: Hold Me While I Fondle Your Life Support, My Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand we’re back! Recap - Rob’s been shot and is in a coma, everyone is a suspect including our Aaron and now we’re firmly out of the Affair Era and into Who Shot Robert? 
> 
> Thank you all for reading etc. You’ll quickly notice that we’re gonna SKIP THE HELL THROUGH ALL THIS BECAUSE I WANNA GET TO THE GOOD STUFF AYOOOOOO

**Honourable Mention #23: 28th September 2015**

So, Rob’s in a coma and everyone is being questioned by the police, Aaron included. Kerry tips an officer off to the fact that Aaron and Robert were all “hot and heavy” with each other. Aaron obviously doesn’t deny it, nor does he try to pretend that their relationship ended happily, but he tells the copper that it didn’t end badly enough for him to want to kill Robert.

Of course, literally MINUTES later, Aaron has taken himself off to the hospital to go visit his beloved coma Robert. They say that talking to coma patients is good for them, you know?

Only, Aaron is still GOD DAMN FURIOUS at Robert about the scrapyard argument and a little thing like almost dying isn’t gonna stop that, so this isn’t really so much a touching bedside scene as it is a MASSIVELY HORRIFYING DISPLAY OF COMPLETE HATRED.

HE STARTS OFF STRONG BY JUST SORT OF STROKING HIS FUCKING LIFE SUPPORT PLUG AS IF HE’S GONNA LITERALLY PULL IT AND END IT ALL HERE AND THERE AND TBH THAT SHOULD TELL YOU EVERYTHING ABOUT THE INCREDIBLE SCENE YOU’RE ABOUT TO WITNESS.

AARON IS LIKE “SEEMS A SHAME NOT TO SEE YOU LIKE THIS” TO COMA ROB AND THEN HE FUCKIN CALLS HIM PATHETIC. 

AND THEN!!!!!! HE LITERALLY FUCKIN!!!!!!!!!! JUST GOES TO TOWN, SAYS “NOT SO COCKY NOW, ARE YA” AND READS ROB FOR TREATING EVERYONE LIKE DIRT, “LIKE THEY DON’T MATTER”. HE SAYS THAT HE MADE EVERYONE'S LIVES HELL AND HE DIDN’T EVEN  _ CARE _ . ROB RECKONS AARON’S TAPPED? WELL AARON RECKONS HE MUST BE FOR EVER FALLING FOR SOMEONE LIKE ROBERT.

WOO WOO WOO WOO SOUND THE SICK BURN ALARM 

SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOD HOLY DAMN AARON DINGLE

FINALLY, AARON SAYS THAT THE ONLY PERSON HE WANTS TO HURT IS ROBERT - THAT NO ONE’S GONNA MISS HIM, SO HE SHOULD “HURRY UP AND DIE!

HURRY. UP. AND. DIE.

What a love story.

Also Chas overhears all of this and assumes that Aaron has shot Robert (all the while, Aaron thinks Chas shot him - it makes them both act very dodgy towards one another for a while).

Of course, Aaron hasn’t and he never would because, as I think we can all see, 

* * *

 

**Honourable Mention #24: 6th November - 16th November 2015**

There’s loads more plot about who shot Robert blah blah blah and then Aaron gets wrongly arrested (actually, like a billion and one people get wrongly arrested, but Aaron’s is the one that sticks the longest) and because he’s Aaron and was literally only serving a prison sentence a year ago, he’s forced to remain in prison custody until his hearing. Aaron struggles and it’s awful but we don’t really see it so Rob is in a coma and Aaron is in prison and I am left missing my messy sons and bLAHHHH. Oh, at one point they try to wake Robert up from his coma and Aaron just hangs around the pub all day refusing to talk to anyone, because he wants to know how Robert is as soon as possible. 

BUT ANYWAY LET’S FAST FORWARD TO WHEN ROBERT IS AWAKE OK GREAT.

SO ROB IS AWAKE AND HE’S ALL “AAHHH WHAT HAPPENED” AND THEN DIANE AND VIC HAVE TO TELL ROB THAT AARON HAS BEEN ARRESTED AND CHARGED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER AND ROB LOOKS FUCKING DESTROYED. Robert also doesn’t necessarily believe that Aaron did it - particularly given that the list of potential suspects is about eight miles long.

The fact that Robert’s behaviour has made him hated enough that MULTIPLE PEOPLE could have tried to murder him shakes him up enough that it actually sort of makes him rethink his entire life and attitude. Also, and I don’t know if it’s because near death experiences make you realise the fragility of life or whatever the hell, but he entirely gives up on his old “I WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE WITH MY WIFE CHRISSIE” tune and instead decides to embrace what he really wants from his life - Aaron.

Uh. He’s just gotta make sure that Aaron didn’t try to kill him first.

Aaron and Chas have a chat (or, they did on the day Robert got shot) where Aaron says that he doesn’t know how to stay away from Robert, or stop loving Robert and that he thinks that maybe the only way he’ll ever be free is for Robert to just disappear. Oh, Aaron. 

It’s not true, honestly. Aaron is stubborn as shit and while yes, he’ll always love Robert, I think that… if Rob had never gotten his act together, never even tried to be better than who he was in 2015, Aaron wouldn’t have really gone back there (outside of maybe the occasional cheeky hook up lbr). 

Robert gets discharged from the hospital and moves in with Victoria. He’s walking around like a timid deer, because he’s still not convinced that Aaron shot him. He asks Vic about it again and says “how can someone who loved me do this?” and then he says that when he sees Aaron at the hearing, when Aaron looks Robert in the eye, Robert will “know”.

Sure, bee.

The morning of the hearing sees Victoria as the only person convinced that the police must have got it right and Aaron must have shot Robert. Andy and Adam go off to court to support Aaron (Andy because he’s crumbling under his guilt that Aaron is currently in prison because of something he and Ross did) and Robert once again questions whether Aaron could have done it. He says that he needs Aaron to tell him the truth. Which. Be careful what you wish for Rob lmao. 

The hearing starts and Aaron stands up looking, frankly, pissed at the world. Robert makes a dramatic late entrance and he and Aaron come properly face to face for the first time since the Scrapyard argument. They stare at one another, Aaron processing the fact that Robert isn’t just still alive, but well enough to be walking around (considering the last time he saw him, Rob was in a coma) and Robert trying to confront the idea that Aaron could ever have tried to kill him. It’s amazing tbh. TENSION EVERYWHERE!

They’re both apparently so #shook by this 2 second meeting that they immediately both LOSE THEIR TINY DERANGED MINDS.

Aaron pleads ‘not guilty’ to attempted murder, obviously, and the judge sets the court date and orders that Aaron continue to be remanded in custody. Robert, who is apparently not satisfied with any of this because he’s still desperate to know whether Aaron did it or not, stands up and yells at Aaron to just “tell the truth”.

Aaron spins around and, because apparently he can’t keep himself in check either, says that, if Rob wants to hear the truth, he’s got some fucking truth bombs to drop because Robert dESERVED EVERYTHING HE GOT AND SHOULD HAVE DONE THE ENTIRE WORLD A FAVOUR AND DROPPED DEAD.

AARON, YOU’RE TRYING TO CONVINCE THEM YOU’RE  _ NOT _ GUILTY, YOU LUGGAGE TAG.

Aaron gets dragged out of court and Robert and Vic leave, Rob reeling at the fact that Aaron could ever hate him that much. Andy comes out and starts yelling at Robert for… believing Aaron shot him… even though…. this specific situation is actually…. Andy’s fault……….. Oh, Andy.

Andy knows this much and he’s struggling™ with the fact that Aaron is in prison, which Ross realises. Given that Ross is the actual person who pulled the trigger and shot Robert, he emphatically reminds Andy that if he confesses, Andy will never see his kids again. Because prison. Andy gets drunk and sits at Katie’s grave crying (again). Ashley sees him and goes to try and console him and Andy takes this opportunity to drunkenly let slip that he knows Aaron is innocent and more than that, implies that he is responsible for Robert’s shooting.

Ashley, being a Man of God, decides to track down Robert and tries to find a way to tell him what he’s heard, whilst still respecting the fact that people speak to him as a vicar in confidence. Still, he can’t live with knowing that Aaron is innocent and ultimately decides to leave a voicemail for Andy and mentions almost everything he knows, and then tells him that either Andy goes to the police or Ashley will.

Only Ashley accidentally leaves a voicemail on Robert’s phone instead and Robert… well, he’s Robert, isn’t he?

ROB CALLS ANDY AND GETS HIM TO COME TO THE SCRAPYARD AND WHEN ANDY GETS THERE, ROB CONFRONTS HIM. HE ASKS IF AARON IS INNOCENT. ANDY DOESN’T RESPOND. ROBERT SAYS “OK BRUV TELL ME THIS!!!! WHAT DID YOU DO ANDY?????

WHAT

DID

YOU

DO

?”

Rob quickly puts together that, as Andy couldn’t have faked his alibi, he must have had someone do it for him. Andy goes to defend himself and Robert yells “STOP LYING YOU LIAR”

Getting shot has really knocked ol’ Robbo off his insult game, I’ll be honest.

Andy can’t deny that he was behind Robert’s shooting and Robert looks actually hella heartbroken about this. He gets his phone out and calls the police, but Andy knocks the phone out of Robert’s hand and breaks it. Robert gets into his car, presumably to drive to the police station instead and Andy gets in his own car to start an INSANE CAR CHASE.

In the end they both get out of their cars and just start yelling at one another. 

Andy admits to being behind the shooting and Rob is all “SO HOW MUCH DID YOU PAY AARON TO DO IT? BET HE DIDN’T NEED MUCH” in a sad lil voice. Andy says that it wasn’t Aaron and Robert is all “SO HE’S INNOCENT” because Robert is NOT ABOUT AARON BEING IN PRISON TBH

HE’S REALLY NOT ABOUT THAT LIFE

Andy refuses to tell Robert who shot him, says it doesn’t matter because he did it, Andy is the one who is responsible. Rob is all “YOU REALLY HATE ME THAT MUCH?” and Andy’s like “YOU KILLED KATIE!!!!!” and look, I’m as sad as the next person that Andy’s wife is dead and tbh I get it

Your brother killed your wife.

You’re gonna be pissed.

It makes sense. I get it.

But sometimes don’t you kinda wanna tell Andy to change the record? Just a little?

Rob once again tries to explain that it was an accident but gives up halfway through, because Andy’s clearly never gonna hear it and then he’s all like “YOU WANNA BELIEVE I KILLED HER? FINE! I KILLED THE BITCH. SO YOU TRIED TO KILL ME. NO, ACTUALLY, YOU GOT SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT AND THEN YOU LET  _ AARON _ TAKE THE BLAME”

Aaron taking the blame is a fundamental part of how pissed off Robert is, I need you all to understand this. If anyone else had been in prison, Rob probs wouldn’t have been careening down to the police station to sell Andy to the police quite so fast, let’s all be real here. Like, maybe eventually, but it wouldn’t have been the first thing Robert felt the need to do. Rob’s list of priorities on this day are, in no particular order:

  1. Be upset that his brother hates him enough to try and kill him (again)
  2. Free Aaron



Andy says he hasn’t killed Robert yet and Rob asks if he’s gonna finish the job off. It’s then that Andy points out that they’re at the same place where Max King died all those years ago - the accident that involved Andy and Max in one car and Robert in another, driving towards one another. Max grabbed the wheel and swerved at the last moment, leading to Andy and Max crashing. Robert pulled his brother out of the wreckage, Max died and Jack Sugden came along, placed the blame entirely on Robert and told him to leave the village.

They reminisce about this delightful moment where Robert and Andy were both involved in the death of another human and Andy says, in a strangely smug way, that that would have been the last time Robert ever spoke to Jack before he died. Robert can’t answer, but Andy pushes on, asks Robert what the last thing Jack said to Robert was.

Rob, now crying, says “Which part? The part where he put all the blame on me? Or the bit where he called me a lunatic and told me to just drive away forever and don’t come back?” as Andy yells, “DON’T COME BACK, YES” and tells Robert that he should have listened to him.

I get that I’m just transcribing this scene but it’s one of my favourite Robert scenes ever so WHY MAKE JOKES WHEN I CAN JUST BASK IN HOW FUCKIN INCREDIBLE IT IS?????

ROBERT IS EVEN MORE UPSET NOW, STILL CRYING, AND SAYS TO ANDY “YOU KILLED MUM AND HE HELPED YOU. MAX DIES AND HE DECIDES TO SEND ME AWAY?”

AND ANDY REALISES THE CRUX OF IT, WHAT THE PROBLEM HAS ALWAYS BEEN - THAT JACK LIKED ANDY MORE THAN HE LIKED ROBERT. 

Andy of course, never realised that Jack knew about Robert’s bisexuality and beat him because of it, which is another ever-present unspoken layer to the immensely complicated and fraught Jack/Robert relationship - and the Robert/Andy relationship. Jack loved Andy so much more and Andy was the one who was straight. That shit can fuck you up, you know?

Robert says he tried - he tried to get away, as far away from the village as possible, but maybe it’s fate that they’re in this field. Maybe there’s only one way for them both to break this cycle of just… hating one another. Andy says he could - he could kill Robert and Robert tells him to and then Robert just fuckin loses it - tells Andy that this doesn’t end here, that Andy can’t just drive away, that Robert will come for him.

And then they both get in their cars and get ready to fuckin chicken 2.0 like the insane little boys they are.

Families are weird.

Ultimately, Robert swerves, but Andy doesn’t and he flips his entire car. 

Robert sees and goes to drive off, leaving Andy to die or whatever, but he can’t do it and instead pulls Andy from the wreckage again, saving his life. He does this all with a gun shot wound, by the way, which is fairly impressive.

Vic and Adam choose this moment to pull up - Adam saw Andy and Rob fighting earlier and told Vic. They call the ambulance and everyone gets out safe and sound. 

At the hospital, Vic is demanding answers but neither brother offers up the truth. Once they’re alone, Robert immediately asks Andy what they’re going to do about Aaron, because he can’t go down for something he didn’t do. Andy says he knows and he’ll sort it and then reiterates that he still sort of wants to kill Robert. Robert says that he tried to leave Andy but couldn’t, because no matter what either of them do, they’re brothers. Robert says that Emmerdale is where his family is and he can’t leave.

Ultimately Andy says that they can’t go on like this. He says that maybe he can believe that Katie was an accident, even if he’ll never forgive Robert for the rest of it - but the violence stops here. 

Robert leaves and, apparently not content with Andy’s commitment to help Aaron ~~~at some point one day~~~, immediately calls DS Hart and gives a false description of his shooter that clears Aaron’s name. 

The village reacts and everyone keeps saying the words “Robert got Aaron off” and I laugh every damn time.

Aaron gets home a few days later and returns as Rob is having a drink in the pub. They make eyes at one another and Aaron texts Robert to meet him outside - apparently to yell at Robert and accuse him of keeping him locked up just to mess with Aaron’s head.

AND IT’S FASCINATING BECAUSE ROB IS ALL SOFT WITH AARON AND WANTS TO MAKE SURE HE’S OK AND AARON IS LIKE “HAHAHAHA I HATE YOU XOXOXO” AND STORMS OFF AND LIKE

THIS IS THE START OF ONE OF MY FAVOURITE UNDERRATED ROBRON PERIODS: THE PERIOD WHERE AARON HATES ROBERT’S GUTS AND ROBERT IS OPENLY HEAD OVER FUCKING HEELS IN LOVE WITH AARON AND KEEPS MANUFACTURING EXCUSES TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM.

IT’S AMAZING. 

* * *

 

**Honourable Mention #25: 27th November - 30th November 2015**

SO, it turns out that watching Robert get shot in front of her sadly left Chas with PTSD. Whilst suffering undiagnosed with, among a lot of other symptoms, hypervigilance and paranoia, Chas accidentally stabs Diane. Chas turns herself in and both Robert and Aaron spend the night terrified for the well-being of their mums. They have a little confrontation outside the pub the morning after and Aaron goes to leave, on his way to see Chas at the Police station with Paddy. Rob is all, “THAT’S RIGHT, RUN AWAY” and Aaron is all, “I’M NOT RUNNING ANYWHERE MATE” and they have some sexy angry eye contact and it’s great.

Also at this time is Chrissie’s trial for accidentally killing all those people. Robert is a key witness and Chrissie is hella concerned he’s going to throw her under a bus to get his own back for dumping him, or something. Lachlan hears this and corners Robert in the Cafe and asks him to do the decent human thing for once and not fuck over his mum. As he leaves the Cafe, Aaron enters - Aaron thinks that Robert knows who shot him and that maybe the guilty person was after Chas and has been responsible for stalking her ever since and ultimately driving her to stabbing Diane.

Aaron approaches Rob and says that he wants to talk and Rob is all “OH, ABOUT UR CRAZY MUM STABBING MY MUM”. Carly, who is serving at the counter, is all pack it in or take it outside, while Aaron is giving Robert a warning of “careful”.

Aaron then turns to Carly and says “bring his drink over, we’ll be over here” because Aaron knows he can still get Robert to do whatever the fuck he wants god bless.

It’s real real real real love.mp3

ROB ROLLS HIS FUCKING EYES AND LOOKS #TIRED BUT HE FUCKIN WALKS OVER TO AARON AND SITS THE FUCK DOWN ANYWAY.

AND THEN ROB IS LIKE, “WHAT?” AND TBH HE SOUNDS LIKE HE’S HALF USING HIS SOFT AARON VOICE. AARON ASKS HOW DIANE IS AND ROB SAYS THAT HE’S NOT TALKING TO AARON ABOUT THAT. AARON SAYS THAT HIS MUM IS IN BITS AND ROB NOT ONLY DOESN’T CARE BUT IS HAPPY THAT CHAS IS SUFFERING WITH ALL THAT STABBY GUILT.

AARON IS LIKE, “I NEED TO KNOW WHO DID THIS TO HER” AND THEN ASKS IF ROBERT IS SURE HE DOESN’T KNOW WHO SHOT HIM. ROBERT TRIES TO ACT #CASUAL BC HE DOESN’T WANT TO GET HIS BROTHER INTO SHIT AND AARON IS LIKE “WELL MY MUM THOUGHT THEY WERE AFTER HER AND NOT YOU” AND THEN ASKS ALL THESE QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT ROBERT REMEMBERS ABOUT THE SHOOTER.

APPARENTLY ROB’S DESCRIPTION TO THE POLICE WAS “A TALL BLOKE” WHICH I GUESS AUTOMATICALLY EXCLUDED AARON.

RUDE.

AARON IS STILL PRESSING ROBERT AND ROB ISN’T SAYING ANYTHING BECAUSE HE DOESN’T KNOW WHO THE FUCK ACTUALLY PULLED THE GOD DAMN TRIGGER. AARON GETS MORE AND MORE DESPERATE, BECAUSE HIS MUM IS STRUGGLING, AND ENDS UP SAYING “ROBERT, PLEASE” AND ROB, BEING FUCKING WEAK AGAINST AARON BEING ALL VULNERABLE AND SAD AND SHIT, LOOKS ALL SAD AND CONCERNED. 

AARON SAYS HE’S DESPERATE AND ROB CRACKS AND SAYS THAT IT WASN’T SOMEONE WHO WAS AFTER CHAS. AARON SAYS THAT ROBERT CAN’T KNOW THAT AND ROBERT SAYS, POINT BLANK, “I DO KNOW. HE WASN’T AFTER YOUR MUM. HE WAS AFTER ME. AND IT’S OVER NOW”

HE SOUNDS V UPSET ABOUT IT, SO I GUESS HE’S STILL NOT OVER HIS BROTHER TAKING A LITERAL HIT OUT ON HIM. 

AARON QUESTIONS HIM AGAIN AND ROBERT ASKS AARON TO JUST TRUST HIM, THEN GETS UP TO LEAVE. AARON STANDS UP AND GRABS ROBERT’S ARM (....HAND???) AND ROB SPINS AROUND AND LIKE THEY COULD BE JUST HAVING SEX RIGHT HERE TBH THEY COULD BE BANGING RIGHT ON BOB’S FLOOR, JUST LOOK AT ALL THIS EYE CONTACT I’M HAVING THE BEST FUCKING TIME

ANYWAY, AARON LOOKS ROBERT DEAD IN THE EYE AND SAYS “YOU KNOW WHO SHOT YOU DON’T YOU.” AND IT’S NOT A QUESTION. ROB SAYS THAT THE PERSON WHO TRIED TO KILL HIM HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH CHAS AND HE SHOULD JUST LEAVE IT AT THAT AND THEN HE LEAVES.

Basically, they’re in love. 

* * *

 

**Honourable Mention #26: 1st December - 14th December 2015**

Rob stands up in court and basically takes the blame for sending Chrissie to the brink and his hair looks terrible. Aaron tells Cain that Robert’s shooter had nothing to do with Chas and Cain says “WELL YOU’RE NOT THE BEST JUDGE WHEN IT COMES TO ROBERT, ARE YOU?” and like… fair play tbh. Other stuff happens and Chas ultimately gets treatment for her PTSD because Aaron refuses to give up until he gets answers and then until he gets help because he’s wonderful, even if his hair is not. 

Robert warns Andy that Aaron might start asking questions about the shooting and Andy is like AARON AIN’T GONNA LET THIS DROP, HE’S AARON. SHUT HIM DOWN. like some sort of demented failure of a mob boss and Robert looks concerned and stuff. Also Robert would never be able to shut Aaron down~~ lbr. 

Doug is not really much of a believer in Chas’ PTSD. He decides to open the pub at the same time as Zak and Aaron decide to do the same and the three clash over Diane and Chas. Doug and Zak ultimately decide to try and run the pub together, even though they’re arguing like cats and dogs.

Aaron and Robert bump into each other round the back like Romeo and fuckin Juliet, what with their families all _ ancient blood breaks to new mutiny _ etc. Robert says he’s sorry about Chas’ PTSD diagnosis and Aaron gives him a civil little nod. Except Rob is really trying to get Aaron off the scent of who shot him - which Aaron realises immediately. 

See, Aaron cared about finding out for his mum, yes, but now that she’s getting help, he’s switched to caring about finding out who the fuck he served all that god damn time in prison for. And he ain’t resting til he knows “who pulled that trigger and why [Robert is] protecting them”.

Classic rivalry.

Doug is out working the bar and talking shit about the Dingles and Chas’ PTSD. No one is here for Doug’s misunderstanding of her mental health but especially not Aaron, who starts threatening Doug because threatening violence against old people is Aaron’s speciality.

Aaron retreats to the back and Robert follows him, spotting a cheeky lil opportunity.

He walks in there and says “You really need to listen” and Aaron isn’t really here for that, he’s mostly just worried about his mum. Rob is all, “You want Doug off your case and I’m your man” and Aaron says “YOU’RE NEVER GONNA BE THAT AGAIN XOXO” loooooool jokes not even slightly true good one baaaaabe

Robert is like “...maybe I deserve that” (whilst dying inside probs) and then says that maybe he can get Aaron to trust him again at least. 

LIKE. ROBERT IS DOING THIS TO COVER ANDY’S TRACKS BUT HE’S ALSO HELLA DOING THIS TO TRY AND INCH BACK INTO AARON’S GOOD BOOKS AGAIN. WE NEED TO ALL JUST REALISE THIS REALITY. 

AARON IS ALL “YOU KNOW WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR UR SHOOTING BITCH” AND ROBERT IS JUST FULL ON LIKE “YEP BUT IT’S NOT WHAT U THINK” and tbh at this point Aaron should have just assumed it was Andy bc who the fuck else out of the suspects would he cover for? 

BUT ANYWAYS, ROB IS LIKE “I SWEAR ON DIANE’S LIFE I DON’T KNOW WHO SHOT ME” and that’s the truth i guess god bless. He then adds on, “it’s about a grudge that’s been going on a long time and you digging is only gonna fuck this up even more smh” which. Again. How does Aaron not put two and two together here god damn. 

ANYWAYS Rob realises that Aaron has no reason to trust him so he offers him a deal - Aaron stops digging and Robert will get Doug off Chas’ case. Aaron accepts but says that if Robert lets him down, he won’t stop.

Because Aaron knows not to trust Robert.

CUT BACK TO THE BAR and Aaron and Rob are chilling out whilst Doug is still talking shit, bless him.

Aaron starts up the threats again and Rob tries to get onto Doug’s good side and then offers to have a word with Aaron. Aaron is all “what the hell bitch where’s your end of the bargain” and Rob is like “I am working on it but maybe try cutting out the fucking death stares” and then Aaron threatens Doug again because… idk Aaron just loves threatening violence against old people, it’s amazing.

Rob tries to get on Doug’s level by saying HEY LET’S PROVE CHAS IS FAKING HER PTSD and then suggests that they speak to Emma to get her to help prove it. Emma comes along and Robert and Doug go and sit with her to talk. Robert asks Aaron to help Zak behind the bar while they talk and Aaron, absolutely unwilling to help Robert help Chas, is all “since when did you give out orders?” and Rob rolls his eyes and says “Just do it please” and honestly

They’re basically married fight me.

Emma tells Doug that Chas is absolutely not faking her PTSD and that the doctors who have diagnosed her would know if she were trying to fake it to get off from punishment of stabbing Diane. Doug accepts this and offers Aaron an apology, because he’s a good and pure soul.

Aaron is characteristically the least fucking grateful human at Doug in response to this, but he gives Robert a little nod in thanks all the same.

THEY. ARE. IN. LOVE.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK I’M STOPPING THIS HERE BECAUSE BABY, WE’RE HEADING INTO A NEW ERA IN THE NEXT PART, AS WE ALL WELL KNOW. Thank u for reading and i love u all. 
> 
> Next up: Robert and Aaron might not technically be together, but emotionally speaking they’re back in a god damn relationship and there’s nothing u can do about it.
> 
> I'm @ littleatticboy on tumblr pls come say hello

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on bartsugsy.tumblr.com. This is posted here purely for readability purposes. I care abt ur eyeballs.


End file.
